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\u00a0So, as we get into a new week, we are approaching the end of the A to Z of Successful Business Owners and Leaders.<\/p>\n\u00a0So, as we get into a new week, we are approaching the end of the A to Z of Successful Business Owners and Leaders.<\/p>\n
So, this week\u2019s thought is all about \u201cW is for Win-Win!\u201d <\/strong>It is a meaty one with loads of information for you.<\/p>\n It is great to be a winner and we all want to work with them.<\/p>\n At the same time, to many people, \u201cWinning\u201d is about defeating others. Because, in defeating others, our success will probably be very short-lived and cause more damage than anything else.<\/p>\n However, winning successfully is a not about winning at other peoples\u2019 expense, it is about winning peoples\u2019 hearts.<\/p>\n Being successful does not mean that we have to look for ways to defeat others. We can always make the choice to look for ways for everyone to win.<\/p>\n Leaders and Working in a Team:<\/strong><\/p>\n If you work with others in a team, or you work with associates, affiliates, suppliers etc., you are all on the same team regardless of what your title is or which department you report into. You have to decide which is more important to you:<\/p>\n If you are a leader, being a person that helps your team achieve their greatest potential, or engaging in an internal power struggle? You can do one or the other but you can\u2019t do both.<\/p>\n The term: \u201cWin-Win\u201d \u2013 what does it actually mean?<\/strong><\/p>\n When you think of the term \u201cwin-win\u201d, you may think about compromise, or giving up a little of what you want so that someone else can get a little more of what they want.<\/p>\n In today\u2019s climate especially, the art of the compromise seems especially lost. All too often, people are digging in their heels, refusing to give the slightest ground, both on the big things and the small things that don\u2019t really matter!<\/p>\n So, we don\u2019t always have great role models to follow, but that\u2019s no\u00a0excuse. We just have to go back to basics. What does compromise even look like?<\/p>\n What happens when everyone digs in their heels?<\/strong><\/p>\n No one wins when everyone digs in their heels, and there is no easier way to make an office politics enemy for life than to derail someone\u2019s pet project because you refuse to budge. We want to always look for the win-win through influencing in a positive way \u2013 without any manipulation.<\/p>\n It is better every single day of the week to get 70%, or 60%, or even 50% of what you want and to hand someone else a win than it is to get 100% of what you want and to win but lose your reputation and friends along the way.<\/p>\n People being people will carry around that slight in their back pocket for years, sometimes just waiting for an opportunity to return the favour.<\/p>\n Try to understand what people think they are losing.<\/strong><\/p>\n When co-workers are resistant to coming up with a compromise,\u00a0a common explanation is \u201cwell, they\u2019re just afraid of change.\u201d Not true. Things change around us all the time. People get married, divorced, start new jobs, the kids go off to college, we buy new houses and move.<\/p>\n No one is running down the street screaming in terror when those things happen. In fact, many times they are cheering the change on!<\/p>\n That means it\u2019s not the change that people are afraid of \u2013 it\u2019s the impact<\/u> of the change. <\/em><\/p>\n Since everyone is giving up a little bit, there is a very real sacrifice involved in compromising. The people you\u2019re working with may have a strong emotional connection to the thing you are asking them to give up, and when emotions come into play, things get tricky.<\/p>\n People make decisions emotionally and justify them rationally. So, we have to take care of the emotional part of the brain that believes that compromise equals loss.<\/p>\n So, what do they believe they are losing in the process of the compromise? Control? Power? Approval? Recognition? Influence? Stability? Their job?<\/p>\n How to move towards a compromise when people feel emotional:<\/strong><\/p>\n Whether or not any of these are true, any one of these factors could be something that might prevent them from opening up to a compromise. This is where you have to put them in control and to help them feel safe.<\/p>\n Let them take the power position by asking \u201cWhat would you need to move forward?\u201d<\/p>\n Or even just ask them what other options they have.<\/p>\n Explore different ways to compromise and aim for a win-win that suits you both.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat if we did it this way? What if we did it that way? How would you feel about those options?\u201d<\/p>\n You\u2019re not trying to sell them on an idea as much as you\u2019re trying to figure out what the true sticking point is. Just talk about it, human to human, and let them open up to you without trying to push them in a specific direction.<\/p>\n Give them a golden bridge to retreat across.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n If you\u2019ve never read Sun Tzu\u2019s Art of War, you will be familiar with:\u00a0\u201cBuild your enemy a golden bridge to retreat across.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n The best way to defuse a stalemate isn\u2019t to fight it aggressively or to throw up your hands in futility declaring that you\u2019ve done everything you can. It\u2019s to give your opponent a way to retreat that allows them to keep their dignity intact.<\/p>\n So, once you know what the other person \/ people want, and what they think they are losing if they don\u2019t get it, then your next best move is to find a way to give them a win.<\/p>\n Give them some, or even all, of what they want. You want them to be able to hold their head up high when they walk out of that discussion.<\/p>\n Sometimes the real sticking points in these discussions aren\u2019t large concessions \u2013 they are private assurances or small gestures that affirm that the specific steps in the process won\u2019t change. Don\u2019t dismiss the value of these small compromises when it comes to building getter relationships.<\/p>\n In a professional world where many people are guarding themselves against being thrown under the bus by their boss or their colleagues, the person who makes it their aim to achieve a win-win is the one who will be admired.<\/p>\n I hope you have enjoyed this \u201cThought for the Week\u201d!<\/p>\n And if you haven\u2019t already, remember that I would love to help you to explore you own hopes, dreams and challenges and create a roadmap to success with you.<\/p>\n