Last time, we explored “From Flow to Friction”. If you missed it, you can catch up here
This week, I’d like to take that one step further: From Friction to Focus.
As discussed last week, we often think of friction as resistance – what if it’s moving us from friction to focus?
Friction slows us down, yes – yet it also sharpens us. It’s the pause that forces us to look again, to strip away what’s unimportant, and to see what really matters.
Why Friction Creates Focus
When conversations hit a bump – through disagreement, hesitation, or resistance – it’s tempting to see it as a setback. Yet friction often isn’t the end of communication, it’s the moment that clarifies what’s truly important.
Like a lens coming into focus, friction cuts through the blur. It forces us to pause, reconsider, and bring sharper attention to what matters.
Think back to a time when you disagreed with someone at work, or in your personal life. Maybe the tension felt uncomfortable.
In hindsight, did the disagreement clarify a priority?
Did it highlight a hidden value?
Did it sharpen your perspective on what mattered most?
That’s the gift of friction. Without it, we might move quickly but without direction. With it, we pause, reflect, and reorient toward what’s essential.
Here’s how friction can actually serve us:
- It clarifies values. Disagreement often reveals what’s deeply important to each person.
- It filters noise. In tension, the non-essential fades, leaving the core message clear.
- It fuels alignment. Once clarified, those values can guide shared decisions.
Three Practical Tools to Try This Week
- Name what matters. When friction arises, ask: What value or principle is being tested here? Often, that’s the real conversation waiting to happen.
- Reframe the resistance. Instead of thinking “This is conflict,” try: “This is a chance to gain clarity.”
- Create clarity statements. Summarise what you’ve learned from the moment of tension in one sentence. For example: “We both care about quality, even if we see different paths to get there.”
A Simple Story
One leader I worked with recently shared how their team often hit roadblocks when making decisions. At first, those moments felt frustrating. Yet when they began pausing to ask, “What’s the real issue we’re trying to solve?” the friction transformed into clarity. The discussions took a little longer, yes – but decisions became sharper, faster to implement, and far more sustainable.
That’s the paradox: friction may seem like it slows us down, yet it often saves time in the long run by sharpening our focus!
A New Perspective
This week, notice when a conversation gets uncomfortable. Instead of pushing past it, lean in. Ask the deeper question. Listen for the underlying value. See if the moment of friction is pointing you toward focus.
Because when we let friction refine us, we don’t just restore connection – we discover clarity.
“Clarity comes not from avoiding friction, but from facing it.”
– Brené Brown –
I always enjoy hearing your perspective. If a conversation would be helpful, I’d be glad to set one up.
With warmest wishes,
Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!
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