I thought I was a good communicator … until the penny finally dropped!
By no means am I the finished article – we are all on our own unique journey aren’t we and continue to learn and grow, and that is what the “Thought for the Week” is all about.
I discovered that my ability to communicate was helped or hindered by my mindset at that moment.
There was a time when I was over-sensitive about criticism. Then I learned to shift my mindset to appreciate when someone takes the time and trouble to offer any kind of feedback because most people don’t.
Whether it is accurate or not doesn’t actually matter. It’s a bit like the knitted sweater your granny made for you every Christmas! You still said thank you (well probably anyway!).
Is your mindset a Fixed mindset or a Growth mindset?
Fixed:
- you don’t like being challenged and tend to deny, blame, justify and defend when you are.
- you see feedback and criticism as a personal attack and either respond emotionally, or dismiss it outright.
Growth:
If you have a growth mindset …
- you embrace challenges
- you welcome feedback as a constructive opportunity to improve and learn, and get curious about understanding criticism.
So, if you want to improve your communication skills, one of the first things to work on is your mind.
With a fixed mindset, you might know the theory of effective communication, but you won’t be able to put it into practice.
With a growth mindset, you’ll be able to harness new skills to make immediate changes and improvements to your communication style.
How do you move from a fixed to growth mindset?
You make a conscious decision to do so and then reflect this in the choices you make.
It’s as simple and difficult as that!
Over the next week, simply notice – without any self-judgement- whether you are in a fixed or growth mindset in that moment and then make a conscious choice to switch.
Our perceptions can differ to others, often dramatically, and that does not have to mean that someone is wrong or right. So, notice what perceptions you have over then next week too and whether you are judging others unfairly.
The Mindset of a Great Communicator:
When we say “great communicator”, we are not talking about a great orator who can command a stage and captivate an audience.
What we mean is a leader who can connect with their team and create engagement with each person.
So often, when people think about what communication is, they think it’s about TALKING.
But, if you have seen the research done around how much impact our WORDS, TONE and BODY LANGUAGE actually have you will know that it is as follows: –
- Words 7%,
- Tone of Voice 38% and
- Body Language 55%!
So, you can see why we have to shift our mindset if we want to be great communicators!
Over the next week, also notice what messages others are giving (again, without judgment) with the above and also notice how much impact your words, tone and body language are having or not having.
Next, we have to LISTEN!
Listening is not just hearing – it is actually putting our own thoughts, advice and all that to one side so we can actually LISTEN to someone!
- How can we listen if our mind is full with our own thoughts?
- Whose agenda are we on then?
There’s an excellent book written by Nancy Kline called; Time to Think
Giving people space and listening to them is a GIFT!
Giving them time to think (without us jumping in to speak) is GOLD!
Ask them OPEN QUESTIONS to help them think things through.
It is so much more empowering if we find our own answers than if someone tells us what THEY think we should do!
How often do you give advice without actually being asked for it?
Give people a chance to think for themselves and only after you have done that, ASK THEM if you could make a suggestion.
I hope you have enjoyed this “Thought for the Week”!
And if you haven’t already, remember that I would love to help you to explore your aspirations and create a roadmap to success with you.
You can book your Free Clarity Session and there is absolutely no obligation and we can meet via Zoom or Skype.
Have a great weekend and very best wishes for your success!
Korinne
FREE GIFT: Download my “5 Ways to be Seen ad Heard Starting Now”