Last week’s Thought for the Week, was about “Feedback on Feedback”- I hope you found that useful and thought-provoking. It would be great to hear from you if you have any comments.
[You can find previous posts here in my blog.]
I shared how receiving great developmental feedback has been transformational for me and also for the people I work with who also use this model of feedback.
I delivered a one-day training course yesterday; “Effective and Assertive Communication” and demonstrated this feedback model with one of the participants who was feeling stuck with something. They were all surprised to witness how she became unstuck when she received Coaching using the feedback model I shared last week.
The week before, I wrote about “Self-Worth” and this came into play in this scenario to. This lady was able to recognise that within herself and how it had been holding her back since a life event six years before. She committed to herself to take the first step towards becoming unstuck and reaching her goal.
And this is the piece that is so often missing from feedback conversations. It is so inspiring when someone decides they are going to take action to achieve something. And then what happens?
- They actually go out and do it?
- They go back into their shell and procrastinate over it again?
- They continue to put it off?
- They find excuses as to why “it’s not the right time”?
So, what leads us to take action and be self-accountable? Because that’s what it really boils down to isn’t it!
And if we are emotionally attached to whatever it is we want to achieve, then we have the incentive and will to take action.
So, at the end of a conversation where someone decides they are going to take action, how can we support them?
Firstly, they have to have that emotional connection to their goal, it has to be something they want (not just to please someone else) and they have to have the WILL to move forward.
It’s like when someone decides to give up smoking. It won’t work unless they decide to quit, right? They have to have the will to follow through with it.
I use a Coaching model where “Will” is usually where we finish that session. I might ask that person something like;
“So, after considering what has been holding you back, you have decided to apply for that new role because it will challenge you. When will you complete the application?”
They may say something like: “Well, I will try to do it this evening” [Try?]
So, I may then ask something like; “On a scale of 1-10 (10 being high) how committed are you to do it this evening?”
They may say something like; “ I guess an 8”
To which I would reply;
“What would make it a 10, so you know that this is what you are going to do when you get home?”
This is where they realise how likely they are to do that when they get home.
And that’s what it’s all about – them knowing how much they want this and how much will they have to follow through.
And if this applies to you, you know what to do!
“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”
ENTREPRENEUR, AUTHOR, MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
As always, I will leave you with that thought.
And why not book a complimentary consultation where we can discuss how you can become a more effective communicator. You can choose a slot HERE.
With best wishes for your success!
Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training
P.S. Ask me about the next Communication Code Group Programme