Thought for the Week – The Communication Source

ripple-effect-impactI hope you enjoyed last week’s Thought for the Week; “Understanding Misunderstandings” about how to tap into our Emotional Intelligence when there is a misunderstanding so we can move forward in a positive way.

I also write a “Thought for the Week” blog each week – you can read my previous blogs below.

As you know, I work as a Coach and Workshop Leader helping professional people to communicate more effectively and overcome challenges so they can have more impact and success.

What has “Emotional Intelligence” got to do with communication you may ask! And that is a very good question …

You will have been on an at least one communication course at some point (and I lead these sessions too) and these are great … if they form part of a bigger plan.

“The emotional landscape of leadership is untapped and underdeveloped. Typically, leadership energy focuses on the efficiency of managerial operations. There is ample training on becoming productive but very little on integrating our emotional data toward competency within the landscape of commerce.”
-Dr. Rob Murray-

[CEO and co-founder of Transformed Leader, a leadership research, coaching, and consulting company that helps mission-driven organizations and leaders overcome their greatest challenges.]

When Clients ask me to run an in-house programme, I first ask questions to understand what strategy they have in place to support the ongoing development of participants. Because learning communication tools and new tips and techniques are just one part of achieving great communication!

I know this because I have been doing this for a very long time and have seen what a challenge it can be for people to communicate in the most effective way for themselves, especially if they are unaware of what’s getting in the way.

I say “for themselves” because Communication is not a ‘one size fits all!

And that’s where Emotional Intelligence (EQ) comes into it. And that is often the part that people believe they don’t need!

“Courageous engagement with the heart activates change. Feelings grant us the chance to connect meaningfully with our world.

What begins as emotional science leads us inexorably to integration, building emotional capacity and resiliency.”
-Dr. Rob Murray-

The human subconscious mind is more amazing then we could ever imagine and there will be things about your mind that you know, and things that you don’t know or understand.

You will know that science has established that the subconscious mind controls 95% of our life, including every physical movement, the decisions we make and actions we take, our emotions and behaviours.

So, our subconscious mind is always awake and never sleeps when we do because it controls all vital functions in our body, e.g., our heartbeat, blood circulation etc. While we are asleep, our conscious mind becomes dormant while our subconscious mind is active.

Science has also proven that we still hear and process everything in our mind while asleep.

You will have formed daily habits; your morning routine, how you travel around, what and when you eat, sleep, exercise etc. These have become second nature.

It’s the same with how we tend to communicate and our subconscious mind is operating in the background.

But the thing is, how do we know what we need to change when we are locked into these habits we have established?

That’s where EQ comes in. If we want to change the way we communicate, we have to be aware of our habit or tendency and consciously choose to do something differently.

For instance; if apprehension holds us back in the way we communicate, we can acknowledge that (we are human!) and then decide to try something different this time (using our EQ to overcome it and our conscious mind to change that habit).

Because, to be a really good communicator, we have to manage our emotions first before we can put our communication techniques into practice.

And that is where there has to be a stage that happens after we learn something new so we can dovetail it all together, whether that be Coaching or whatever support we have in place. That way, your new habits will become part of your subconscious mind operating in the background!

“To understand something, you must go to the source. In this case, the source is you. The source of the ability to unbury all of your past programming and realign with your true self. To awaken from a single mind, to the soul driving this whole thing on the inside.”
-Erin Dinsmore-

[Producer, Screenwriter, Content Creator, e.g., How to Be a Human Being]

As always, I will leave you with that thought!

If you would like to have a complimentary one-to-one coaching session with me to explore this further, you can book a slot HERE

I will be in touch again with more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.

With best wishes,
Korinne 

P.S. Check out The Communication Code

#communication #coaching #people #business

Thought for the Week – Understanding Misunderstandings

misundertstandingI hope you enjoyed last week’s Thought for the Week; “The Authenticity Paradox” which was all about aligning what we say and what we do with what we believe and knowing when not to over-share.

You can read my previous blogs below.

Personally, I used to be a people-pleaser and worried about saying things that might upset people. After years of tying myself in knots over this, the penny finally dropped when I realised that I had no control over whether people were upset by anything I said.

I could say the same thing to 100 different people and each person would have their own interpretation. All I could do was to be respectful and clear about what I wanted to say and the rest was up to them!

How freeing was that? HUGELY!

You probably already learned this too. At the same time, and I don’t know about you, but I know plenty of people who struggle with it.

Of course, in most cases, the majority of us don’t set out to upset people and if someone is upset by something we said, we probably feel mortified … and misunderstood!

As human beings, we have multiple levels of communication, through …

  • Our words
  • Our tone of voice
  • Our body language
  • Our actions
  • Our emotions
  • Our sensed communication and expression.

So, how to respond when someone is upset?

  1. Take a deep breath and stay calm! Just sit with that person and be present. Acknowledge that it’s human to be upset at times.
  2. Approach them on a heart-to-heart level (people tend to be more comfortable using logic in these situations and focussing on feelings will have a more successful outcome when someone is emotional)
  3. Avoid starting a question with “Why” as it tends to come across as judgemental and more likely to exacerbate the situation. So, avoid asking “why are you upset?” At the same time, we must do more than ask the question “How do you feel?
  4. Pick up on their signals and ask yourself what is this person conveying about their feelings in all of the above bullet points, their body language, actions etc? Also ask yourself what you are noticing in yourself about your own feelings.
  5. Ask them what do they need most right now.
  6. If they are angry with and blaming you, try not to react or get defensive (you know you can’t control their emotions). Just listen to them and let them get it out. Only when they have finished, ask them whether you could explain from your side. If you find yourself feeling angry because they are angry, this is where your Emotional Intelligence comes into play! If you can stay calm, acknowledge their feelings and listen to them before you respond (calmly), you will help that person to become less emotional and more logical again.

Yes, we have probably been misunderstood if someone is upset by something we said because we didn’t mean it that way. Because we can’t control how another person feels, all we can do is to tap into our own Emotional Intelligence and help them to tap into theirs.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is the seat of really effective communication once we master it …

Emotional Intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behaviour, navigate social complexities and make personal decisions that achieve positive results” – Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves-

“We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us – how we can take it, what we do with it- and that is what really counts in the end.”

-Joseph Fort Newton-

[Author of “The Builders”]

As always, I will leave you with that thought!

If you would like to have a complimentary one-to-one coaching session with me to explore this further, you can book a slot here: http://www.calendly.com/korinne/30min

I will be in touch again with posting more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.

With best wishes,
Korinne 
P.S. Check out The Communication Code

#communication #coaching #people #business

Thought for the Week – The Authenticity Paradox

authenticity

I hope you enjoyed last week’s Thought for the Week; “To Dare or not to Dare?” which was all about letting go of the image we portray externally so we can dare to be ourselves.

I also write a “Thought for the Week” blog each week which you can read below.

And the shocking thing is that, once we can overcome any fears and make that choice, it’s actually much easier to be our true authentic selves than have to play a role. That’s exhausting.

And if you have worked through this yourself, you will already know this!

That’s not to say that we shouldn’t be a little cautious about what we reveal about ourselves and how vulnerable we are – it’s all about getting the right balance in each situation we are in.

For instance; in a social situation where we are with loved ones and close friends whom we trust, we will find it much easier to be ourselves. Whereas, if we go to a party where we don’t know people very well, of course, we will be a little more guarded.

At work, again if we are with colleagues we trust and know well, we will be more open and feel we can be ourselves.

Until we get our heads around all this, it is less comfortable for us to communicate authentically and confidently.

We express ourselves through speaking, writing, body language, creative endeavours (such as art and innovation), and our general demeanour. Often, however, how we express ourselves on the outside isn’t how we feel on the inside. In other words, our self-expression is inhibited or inauthentic.

At the same time, there is a clear line between being authentic and over-sharing because sharing personal problems has become a lot more socially acceptable.

To be an authentic person, what we say and what we do must align with what we believe.

And THIS is the seat of really effective communication once we master it.

 

Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.”

-Dau Voire-

[One of the top Health Influencers in the UK].

 

And I will leave you with that thought.

If you would like to have a complimentary one-to-one coaching session with me to explore this further, you can book a slot HERE

I will be in touch again with more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.

With best wishes,

Korinne 

P.S. Check out The Communication Code

Thought for the Week – To Dare or not to Dare?

truth-or-dareI hope you enjoyed last week’s Thought for the Week; “The Masked Ball of Life” about how we can present ourselves in the way we want to be seen and to avoid judgement, pain or whatever.

You can read my previous blogs here.

To continue this theme …

OK, we know that we can protect ourselves by presenting to others what we want them to see … at the same time, how can we not lose our true selves in the process?

Being genuine and authentic about our views and opinions can seem risky in certain situations and yet, we can have our most profound success in these moments!

Why is this?

Let me share this with you …

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”

-Brené Brown-

[Leadership expert with top-selling books and a very popular podcast].

And I will leave you with that thought.

If you would like to have a complimentary one-to-one coaching session with me, there is absolutely no obligation. After 30 minutes, you will have gained more clarity and insight on how you communicate and what to do and also what not to do about it! You can book a slot HERE 

I will be in touch again with more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.

With best wishes,
Korinne 
P.S. Check out The Communication Code

Thought for the Week – The Masked Ball of Life

Masked-Ball-of-LifeI hope you enjoyed last week’s Thought for the Week; “Confidence and Winging it!” We all “wing it” from time to time and this was about how much belief and self-confidence we have when doing it. And there is a big difference between that and taking unnecessary risks.

You can read my previous blogs below.

Now, here is a random question for you! Have you ever been to a Masked Ball?

If you did, did you wear a mask?

How did that feel, to wear a mask?

Well, I went to a masked ball once, it was on Valentine’s Day in Switzerland and was invited at the last minute, so wasn’t as well-prepared as most of the people in the room. Nonetheless, I found it very interesting to see how people presented themselves when wearing a mask and then the ‘big reveal’ at the end of the night!

But the time that really stands out in my memory was when I went on holiday to Dubai and went on one of these jeep trips in the desert, rode a camel, had a Middle-Eastern feast and had the opportunity to dress up in traditional dress.

So, we both dressed up in traditional Arab dress and I wore a veil.

I was surprised how empowering it was actually! Because, from behind a mask, we can observe what is going on around us while our expressions are hidden.

Have you ever found that?

We know how much we rely on body language in our communication with each other, so personally, I found this very interesting.

At the same time …

How much do we hide behind some kind of mask in our everyday lives?

If we do, there will be a good reason behind it for sure; probably to protect ourselves in some way or something like that.

“You wear a mask for so long, you forget who you were beneath it.”

-Alan Moore-

[English author known primarily for his work in comic books including Watchmen, V for Vendetta, The Ballad of Halo Jones, Swamp Thing, Batman: The Killing Joke and From Hell]

And in my work as a Coach, my clients so often come in with something to work on, and I would say that most of their challenges are around the way they are communicating, or NOT communicating …

… and how they see, or DON’T see themselves and how they WANT to be seen.

For instance; using this “invisible mask” to hide themselves behind; perhaps so others can’t judge them.

When it comes to having confidence and feeling empowered, how often are we “wearing a mask” or a well-practiced façade so we can feel more empowered?

Now, this is not a bad thing at all – because as I said there is usually a very valid reason why. At the same time, here’s something to consider …

“I wear the mask. It does not wear me.”

Phillippe, ‘Man in the Iron Mask’.

As always, I will leave you with this thought for the week! Just one more thing …

If you would like to have a complimentary one-to-one coaching session with me, there is absolutely no obligation. After 30 minutes, you will have gained more clarity and insight on how you communicate and what to do and also what not to do about it! You can book a slot HERE 

I will be in touch again with more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.

With best wishes,

Korinne 
P.S. Check out The Communication Code

Thought for the Week – Confidence and Winging it!

confidence-and-winging-it

I hope you enjoyed last week’s Thought for the Week; “We don’t know what we don’t know!”

This was about how, as humans, we have certain blind spots that get in our way when we unaware of them.

And these blind spots are holding many people back from being promoted, getting clients, enjoying more success etc.

If you have received Coaching or Mentoring, you will remember that lightbulb moment when you had a big realisation!

You can read my previous blogs here below.

Sometimes we feel like an idiot for not knowing something and yet why should we have known that? I hear a lot of very talented professionals talk about this and whether they should admit not knowing something or just muddle through somehow.

If you have experienced this, or witnessed it as a leader, you’ll know that it can be disastrous to just try and ‘wing it’ … but not always …

“In both the art and the business worlds. The difference between the amateurs and the professionals is simple; The professionals know they’re winging it. The amateurs pretend they’re not!”

-Amanda Palmer-

[Bestselling author and musician]

There is a big difference between pretending and having the confidence to have a go anyway …

  • Confidence in oneself
  • Confidence in who we are
  • Confidence in our capability, perhaps in a certain area
  • Confidence in how we communicate through body language, tone of voice, words and across the various channels we use.

“There are no grown-ups. We suspect this when we are younger, but can confirm it only once we are the ones writing books and attending parent-teacher conferences. Everyone is winging it, some just do it more confidently”.

-Pamela Druckerman-

[An American-French writer and journalist]

I mention this regularly I know … have you thought about trying a complimentary one-to-one coaching session with me? There is absolutely no obligation. After 30 minutes, you will have gained more clarity and insight on how confident you are in your communication and what to do and also what not to do about it!

You can book a slot HERE 

As always, I will leave you with this thought for the week! I will be in touch again with more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.

With best wishes,

Korinne 
P.s. Check out The Communication Code

Thought for the Week – We don’t know what we don’t know!

dont-know-what-we-dont-know

I hope you enjoyed last week’s Thought for the Week; “Securing the Intangible” which was discussing that elusive quality; Charisma!

You can read my previous blogs below.

At first, many of my clients think they don’t need coaching or training. The thing is that as humans, we have certain blind spots that get in our way.

These blind spots are stopping people from getting promoted, getting clients, being more successful etc. And then the more I show them, the more they realise that they don’t know what they don’t know and we build their skills from there.

It’s a Catch 22 situation isn’t it!

“There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don’t know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don’t know we don’t know”.

-Donald Rumsfeld-

 [Donald Henry Rumsfeld (July 9, 1932 – June 29, 2021) was an American politician, government official and businessman who served as Secretary of Defence from 1975 to 1977 under president Gerald Ford, and again from 2001 to 2006 under President George W. Bush. He was both the youngest and the oldest secretary of defence]

Have you ever had a moment when someone tells you something you have never heard of and they look at you surprised, like you are an idiot for not knowing? But you don’t know what you don’t know!

I have helped so many business professionals, through one-to-one coaching, to uncover their blind spots around how they communicate. As a result, they can move forward much more productively and confidently with business goals and with their life. Because these are life skills as much as professional development.

This has to be done through coaching because everyone is unique and there is no “one size fits all” solution here.

So often, I see talented professionals struggle for various reasons. And I would say about 90% of the time it boils down to how they communicate and this in turn impacts on how they influence others and how they repel others without even realising it.

Communication is a science and yet can be so simple when you know how.

How would you like to try a complimentary one-to-one coaching session with me? There is absolutely no obligation. After 30 minutes, you will have gained more clarity and insight on what blind spots could be holding you back and how you want to move forward from there.

What have you got to lose and what have you got to gain? We don’t know what we don’t know do we! Book a slot HERE

“The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.”
~ Aristotle ~ 
[Ancient Greek Philosopher and Scientist]

As always, I will leave you with that thought! I will be in touch again with more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.

With best wishes,

Korinne 

Thought for the Week – Securing the Intangible!

power-and-charismaI hope you enjoyed last week’s Thought for the Week; “The things we do not say” which was about how we keep ourselves safe by holding back. And how we can really miss out on opportunities when we choose to stay in our comfort zone.

You can read my previous blogs here below.

Of course, sometimes there are very good reasons why we need to do that. What about the times when there is no good reason?

And how does this affect the way we communicate with others, build lasting relationships, succeed in business?

It is all about balance and you will have seen those around you over-communicate as well as hold back!

We have all noticed those powerful leaders who say very little and yet have so much power and charisma? And charisma is so intangible isn’t it!

What are they doing?

And what are they not doing?

  • How would you define “power”?
  • How would you define “charisma”?

Too often, we can define power as a negative force through past experiences. And yet the kind of power these charismatic leaders have is mostly positive, unspoken and subtle.

I have helped so many business professionals to find their inner power and charisma through one-to-one coaching. And the thing is; it’s all about who they are as an individual; their values, goals, motivation and how they communicate authentically.

And because everyone is unique, there is no “one size fits all” approach that will work.

So often, I see talented professionals struggle for various reasons. And I would say about 90% of the time it boils down to how they communicate.

We cannot underestimate the power of this.

How would you like to try a complimentary one-to-one coaching session with me?

There is absolutely no obligation. After 30 minutes, you will have gained more clarity and insight on how you want to move forward from there.

What have you got to lose and what have you got to gain? We don’t know what we don’t know do we! Book a slot HERE

Charisma is the intangible that makes people want to follow you,
to be around you, to be influenced by you.

~ Roger Dawson ~

[Author of “Secrets of Power Negotiatingand founder of the Power Negotiating Institute]

As always, I will leave you with that thought! I will be in touch again with more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.

With best wishes,

Korinne 

Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training

p.s. What do have to lose by booking that FREE 30-minute coaching session now! https://calendly.com/korinne/30min

Thought for the Week – The things we do not say

holding-back-

I hope you enjoyed last week’s Thought for the Week; “Taking the Step which was about how, as humans, we too often stay within our comfort zone without venturing beyond. And when we do take that step, that’s where all the magic happens!

You can read my previous blogs here below.

From your own experiences, you will know only too well that we often have very good reason for staying within our comfort zone. And, of course, that mechanism is in place to protect us in some way.

Sometimes we have to protect ourselves – at the same time, what about the times we could take that step and yet we hold back?

Let’s be honest, there are so many reasons why we can deny ourselves opportunities because we play safe right?

For instance; out of habit, fear, suspicion, we can’t be bothered etc?

And we know what Albert Einstein said about; “if you do what you always did, you’ll get what you always got!”

And our relationships and lives suffer when we play safe and don’t communicate what we really want to say!

This is where my programme differs from most, because before we can communicate genuinely and most effectively, we must first understand the things that hold us back. And I’m not talking about psychoanalysis here!

The process I have developed over more than 25 years is so simple and yet so effective when you know how.

Would you like to know more, either for yourself or someone else?

If you, or a friend or colleague would like to explore this further, you can book a complimentary 30-minute consultation with me! There is absolutely no obligation. After 30 minutes, you / they will have gained more clarity on the next step they want to take.

“I learned the things you do not say tend to scream the loudest within”

-Beau Taplin-

[The Things we do not say]

As always, I will leave you with that thought! I will be in touch again with more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.

And don’t forget to check out “The Communication Code

With best wishes,

Korinne 

p.s. What have you go to lose? Book that 30-minute session now! https://calendly.com/korinne/30min 

Thought for the Week – Taking the Step!

take-that-step

I hope you enjoyed last week’s Thought for the Week; “The Power to Connect about one of the biggest struggles people face. i.e., a lack of confidence and the fear of upsetting others by saying the wrong thing. And yet, when we know how to just listen, communicate in a certain way and authentically, it just becomes so much simpler!

You can read my previous blogs here below.

I also emailed you this week about the words we use and how people can stress themselves out over ‘words’ when in fact they have much less impact than our body language and tone of voice.

There are many other reasons too aren’t there why people lack confidence and all kinds of ‘stuff’ going on in our minds that can hold us back?

And this is where participants on my programme get the most profound results. When people get to the point in their life where they just know that something has to shift and if they keep doing the same things nothing will change!

And these are the people I work with – those who are really committed to explore their values, what they want to achieve in their life and to change the way they have been communicating so they can get there!

They don’t have to change everything about the way they communicate! Just some tweaks here and there and ….

When they can communicate in a way that feels right for them, that’s in alignment with their true values and step outside their comfort zone, they will overcome those things that have been getting in the way over the years!

And that is where the magic happens …

“The comfort zone is a psychological state in which one feels familiar, safe, at ease, and secure. You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

-Roy T. Bennett-

[Author of “The Light in the Heart”]

As always, I will leave you with that thought! I will be in touch again with more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.

If you, or one of your colleagues would like to explore this further, you can book a complimentary 30-minute consultation with me! There is absolutely no obligation. After 30 minutes, you / they will have gained more clarity on the next step they want to take.

And don’t forget the Free Masterclass I am running on 13th October at 6.30pm! You can sign up HERE

With best wishes,

Korinne 
P.S. If you would like a spot on The Communication Code  starting on October 20th, let me know! Early Action Bonus ends 7th October 2020. Click HERE to find out more.