Thought for the Week – Feedback on Feedback!

Last week’s Thought for the Week, was about “A Curious Case of Self-Worth” and I hope you found that stimulating. You can find previous posts here in my blog.

I shared how I discovered that self-worth is the foundation stone to our well-being and, until we truly value ourselves and our worth, personal development can be a real challenge. This may seem really obvious, but not always.

Last week was the closing session of The Communication Code Group Coaching Programme and, when talking about their key takeaways, all participants said how they communicate is all based on how they see and value themselves. I always feel so privileged on these programmes to witness the participants’ transformation week-by-week.

And I always ask for feed back on my programmes because I have learned that this is always transformational.

I used to feel quite fearful when I knew someone was going to give me feedback!

Until I started to receive feedback in a way that was transformative, rather than detrimental. So, now I enjoy receiving and seeing feedback that is given with a positive intention to help others build confidence and grow.

Can you remember a time when you had some rubbish feedback that left you feeling totally demotivated and unappreciated?

“What is the shortest word in the English language that contains the letters: a b c d e f? Answer: feedback. Don’t forget that feedback is one of the essential elements of good communication.”
-Anonymous-

What’s your experience of feedback?

You may well be familiar with this Feedback Model that I’m about to share with you, or you may not. Either way, I hope that you will find it useful and please feel free to share this. Whilst this model is used in a Corporate situation, it will work for business owners and anywhere feedback is given.

To make it easier, I am going to first write an example of some feedback. Let’s assume that Jane is having a review with her line manager, John  …

John:    Hi Jane, come in, how are you today? 

Jane:    I’m well thanks John, how are you?

John:    I’m well too thanks Jane. So, how are things going for you in your role? 

Jane:    OK, I think! You tell me! 

John:    I will. First though, I’m interested to hear how it’s going for you. What do you think is going well? 

Jane:    Well, I suppose I have met my KPI’s and I am enjoying the role. 

John:    Yes you have achieved your KPI’s. Well done Jane. I really like the way you have approached your tasks and have built good relationships with the team and key stakeholders. What else is going well for you? 

Jane:    Well, I guess I find it easier to say what I’m not doing well rather than what I am doing well! Hmmm, well I was really pleased to receive those thank you letters from clients, and I do get on well with people. 

John:    Yes, I felt quite proud when you received those letters and I have noticed how well you get on with people. Could I also tell you what I like about the way you work? 

Jane:    Yes 

John:    I really like your approach when dealing with complaints and the way you listen to people, ask questions about the issue, summarise to check your understanding and show them you have understood. I think this gets them on side and makes it easier to move forward to finding a solution. 

Jane:    Thank you! 

John:    What do you find more challenging in your role? 

Jane:    Well, complaints can be challenging and it’s not always easy to listen when they are shouting. 

John:    OK, so what I have noticed is that you do listen and calm them down. And I haven’t received any complaints on your work Jane. 

Jane:    That’s good to hear. 

John:    What else do you find challenging? 

Jane:    Well, I have to say that I don’t enjoy taking minutes in team meetings and find it challenging writing them up afterwards. 

John:    I’m glad you told me you find that challenging. If we had someone else who could do it and enjoyed it that would be the ideal. However, we don’t. So, what would make that work better? 

Jane:    Well, I appreciate that we can’t record meetings for confidentiality reasons otherwise that would help. I don’t know really. 

John:    What have you already tried? 

Jane:    I have tried making shorter notes but then when I read them back to type them up, I can’t always remember what was being said. 

John:    What else have you tried?  

Jane:    I don’t know what else to try to be honest. 

John:    Could I make a suggestion? 

Jane:    Yes please! 

John:    Well, I believe we have an approved transcribing app that you could use to help you. I know that Bob in HR knows more about it, so you could ask him. 

Jane:    Really? That would be great. I’m going to go and ask Bob right after our meeting! Thanks John. 

John:    It’s a pleasure Jane and I hope that helps so minute-taking gets easier! Is there anything else you’re struggling with Jane? 

Jane:    I made a mistake the other day on that report didn’t I! 

John:    Yes you did and you dealt with it. So, what would you do differently next time? 

Jane:    I am going to create a template for this kind of report with a table for stats. Then I’ll put the stats in first then use “four eyes” and get someone to check the figures! Then I’ll finish the report. 

John:    That sounds like a good plan! I like that solution, let me know how it goes. Is there anything else you’d like to discuss today Jane before we close? 

Jane:    No, that’s it! I have to say that I actually enjoyed this meeting, I was nervous at the beginning, but feel much better. 

John:    Well, know that you’re doing a great job Jane. Thank you for all you’re doing and you come and see me any time you need to. 

Jane:    Thank you.

So, who was giving the feedback?

Yes, Jane pretty much gave her own feedback there.

So, what goes wrong in feedback sessions then?

  1. If we don’t spend enough time first asking the other person about their perspective, we are in danger of making assumptions about what they already know / don’t know and this is the most demotivating thing we can do.
  2. When we have to give feedback, so often people start with negative stuff right away, or just brush over the positive stuff. As a result, the other person will feel deflated and possibly quite defensive. We are all human after all.
  3. In reality, we all know how we are doing, whether we admit it or not. So, if you build trust by asking what the other person thinks about their performance, listen to them and put yourself in their shoes for a moment. Also, by asking them how they think they are doing and what they have already tried, we won’t make the mistake of jumping in there and assuming they haven’t already tried to work it out themselves.

So, when we are always looking for a Win-Win, then of course everybody wins.

So, my first experience of real developmental feedback was over 30 years ago and it has stayed with me throughout my career and running a business and when I have used this model, it works every time because it builds on that foundation of self-worth in everyone.

Tom Rath is an author and researcher who has spent the past two decades studying how work can improve human health and well-being and here is one of his well-known quotes:

“Employees who report receiving recognition and praise within the last seven days show increased productivity, get higher scores from customers, and have better safety records. They’re just more engaged at work.”
-Tom Rath-

As always, I will leave you with that thought.

Receive this Free Empowering Blueprint now: 5 Ways to Be Seen, Connect and Have Impact Starting Now

And why not book a complimentary consultation where we can discuss how you can value who you truly are, how to have great feedback sessions and make sure you receive constructive feedback. You can choose a slot HERE.

With best wishes for your success!

Korinne 

Korinne Le Page
P.S. Ask me about the next Communication Code Group Programme
www.CommunicationCode.co.uk

Thought for the Week – A Curious Case of Self-Worth

So, last week’s Thought for the Week, was about “What have Expectations Got to do with Anything?” and I hope you found that thought-provoking! [You can find previous posts here in my blog.

I shared how I used to be more of a “people-pleaser” until I realised my true worth. And so many people I work with struggle with this for various reasons.

I discovered that self-worth is the foundation stone to our well-being and, until we truly value ourselves and our worth, personal development can be a real challenge.

Why?

Well, for example; imagine that somebody wants to learn to be more assertive. Until they appreciate their self-worth, it will be a strain for them to be assertive. This is because self-doubt will probably show through, so they have less authority than if they know their own worth and can stand up for what they believe – authentically.

“No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent”

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

Yes, we can learn useful tips and techniques. At the same time, we can struggle to use them if we are plagued with self-doubt.

I also mentioned last week that the participants who are on the current Communication Code Group Coaching Programme with me are realising their transformations and that the changes they want from their lives are in sight. In fact, last night, some shared that what they have learned so far is now becoming more automatic because they have realised their self-worth.

Once we realise this one reality, everything changes for the better.

We become more self-aware, confident, and less reliant on others for our happiness, satisfaction and self-worth.

Life is just better when we are confident and live each day being true to ourselves. 

“Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you’re worth the trip.”
-Glenn Beck-

As always, I will leave you with that thought.

And why not book a complimentary consultation where we can discuss how you can value who you truly are. You can choose a slot HERE

Receive this Free Empowering Blueprint now: 5 Ways to Be Seen, Connect and Have Impact Starting Now

With best wishes for your success!

Korinne

P.S. Ask me about the next Communication Code Group Programme

www.CommunicationCode.co.uk

Thought for the Week – What have Expectations Got to do With Anything?

So, last week’s Thought for the Week, was about “Authenticity and Best Kept Secrets” and I hope you found that thought-provoking! [You can find previous posts below].

Being comfortable with, and being who we truly are,  is something people have either mastered or they really struggle with. I used to be more of a “people-pleaser” until I realised my true worth and that people actually wanted to hear what I really thought about things!

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are!

“Brene Brown-

I said to participants yesterday on The Communication Code Group Coaching Programme with me that I am very humbled by their progress and privileged to be able to facilitate and be part of their transformations because they are becoming who they really are.

They are experimenting and at times feel they are taking risks. And I recognise that they are doing the hard work in between our sessions and that’s why they are seeing the progress they are making week-by-week.

And another real light-bulb moment is when we learn about EXPECTATIONS.

We can set ourselves up for disappointment over and over again because of our expectations of others. Because we have certain values and beliefs, we could automatically expect others to have the same and behave accordingly.

Then when people find they don’t, they are disappointed, or might even blame the other person because of our own expectations!

“People can’t live up to the expectations they don’t know have been set for them”

-Rory Vaden-

Once we realise that our expectations are built around people and things external to us, everything changes. We become more self-aware, confident, and less reliant on others for our happiness, satisfaction and self-worth.

We don’t need others to validate us! If we always look to others to confirm that we’re doing the right thing, are a good person etc., who is really in control of our lives?

We are in the driving seat of our own life and that’s how it should be. We want to be who we really are, live by our own values, be around other like-minded people and live our lives authentically.

“When you are authentic, you create a certain energy, people want to be around you because you are unique”.

-Andie MacDowell-

As always, I will leave you with that thought.

Download this Empowering Blueprint: 5 Ways to Be Seen, Connect and have Impact Starting Now 

With best wishes for your success!

Korinne

P.S. I invite you to book a completely complimentary Coaching Session HERE

P.P.S. Ask me about the next Communication Code Group Programme

www.CommunicationCode.co.uk

 

Thought for the Week – Authenticity and Best Kept Secrets!

Last week’s Thought for the Week, was about “Vulnerability is a Powerful Tool” and how showing vulnerability is actually showing strength.

[You can find previous posts here in my blog].

Last Thursday, I gave a talk to a group of unemployed people about careers. This was a mixed group and some were interactive and some less so. But they had all come on this course with a common aim – to try and find a job that would spark an interest for them.

When we meet someone for the first time, we make up our minds about them within the first 15 seconds, on the basis of their age, gender, accent, hairstyle, clothing etc. Then, having decided who they are, we make up this whole story about who we think they are, and how they will behave.

So, I asked each individual within this group about their interests and they were surprised because they thought they would just sit there and I’d talk “at” them for an hour or so. Not so, that’s not my style!

And we had a chat about what kind of things spark their interest.

Then I told them about my career journey. I told them how I left school at 16, yes I got 7 O’ Levels and I didn’t stay on for A’ Levels, or go on to Uni to get a Masters Degree. I did further professional education later on after I found out where my interests lay.

They were all surprised and one lady in the group said; ”Never judge a book by its cover hey!”

“There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses”

-George Bernard-Shaw-

As we humans tend to do, we make assumptions about people when we first meet them, and they did think that I was some kind of “posh bird” that had been to Uni!

And that’s OK! What felt good though was the fact that I really enjoyed our conversation because it was REAL.

How often are we able to have real, open conversations with people we don’t know?

I was able to show my vulnerability and be authentic about who I am and they really appreciated it.

So, I hope this ignited a spark in them that it’s OK to be yourself and to be aware of how we judge people and situations without first finding out more.

Showing vulnerability is living life authentically …

What do you hear when I say “Living an Authentic Life”?

What does that mean to you?

Such as:-

  • Living by your deepest values?
  • Speaking and acting your truth?
  • Being true to yourself?
  • Telling the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable?
  • Living your life according to what your intentions are, moment-by-moment?
  • Taking responsibility in relationships without blaming the other person?
  • To remain vulnerable and transparent, even when you feel you will be misunderstood, or criticised somewhat?
  • To live authentically so you never have those moments when it just doesn’t feel right?
  • There is no trace of artificiality, that person is just being who they are?
  • Lack of fragmentation so the various parts of yourself are communicating with one another and the barriers are gone?
  • Knowing when you don’t know what you are feeling (there is no pressure to be something)?

Communication isn’t just affected by identities. It is also affected by difference – for example, by age, ethnicity/’race’, culture and one of the things which we do all the time is to work from stereotypes or ‘typification’.

So, by being vulnerable and authentic, we immediately build a much clearer story about who we are and build rapport with others so much more easily. And this immediately overcomes so many potential misunderstandings and conflicts.

“My disorder thrives in isolation – my recovery grows in authentic communication”

-Christina Sophia Pearson-

As always, I will leave that with that thought.

With best wishes for your success!

Korinne

P.S. I invite you to book a completely complimentary Coaching Session HERE

P.P.S. Ask me about the next Communication Code Group Programme

Thought for the Week – Vulnerability is a Powerful Tool

Last week’s Thought for the Week, was about “Being The ONE” [You can find previous posts here in my blog]

Being “The One” is claiming your power and claiming responsibility in its purest form and taking a stand, being a catalyst and dropping all excuses!

And I asked; “Who do you need to be in order to achieve your goal or vision?”

Consciously choosing who we’re being can dramatically change our life and the results we get and we get to find our own authentic way of being that works for us.

Think of a leader in your life who you really admired … if you admired them then they must have been “Being the One”.

  • What did they do that you most admired?
  • How did you feel when you were around that person?
  • How authentic were they being?
  • How much vulnerability did they show?

How much more relatable were they when they were open with you?

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.”

– Brené Brown-

How many of us appear on the surface to be a confident knowledgeable person, and yet underneath the surface we can get real moments of self-doubt that can be quite debilitating?

How many of us get “Imposter Syndrome” and anxious that we will be “found out” in some way?

Well, these things are pretty normal for most people.

So, in “Being the One”, we may very well doubt ourselves and whether we can get to that. We all have our own unique life journey that has brought is to the point we are today and things have happened along the way.

In a previous blog, I wrote about “Gremlins” and how, in recognising them they lose power over us. They can still raise their snappy little heads from time to time though right!

So, what’s the answer?

  • Allowing ourselves to be ourselves!
  • Allowing ourselves to be our “The One”

“We are vulnerable, not fragile, but our desire to go through life without feeling pain makes us feel fragile.”

– Luigina Sgarro-

Keeping it real may cause anxiety if we feel vulnerable. And of course, we will be more open and vulnerable with those we trust. There’s a safe level that you’ll be prepared to go when it comes to being open in any given situation.

Vulnerability can be physical, emotional, economic, or social.

And vulnerability can be a powerful tool if used wisely.

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’ t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”

– Brené Brown-

So, how can you find that balance that feels right for you?

As always, I will leave that with that thought.

With best wishes for your success!

Korinne

P.S. I invite you to book a completely complimentary Coaching Session HERE

P.P.S. Ask me about the next Communication Code Group Programme

Thought for the Week – Being “The One”

Last week’s Thought for the Week, was about how “What is REAL Empowerment”

[You can find previous posts here in my blog!

I invited you to reflect on how far a person can go in their own productive thinking before they need ours, then how much further than that.

We are all powerful beings, even if we don’t acknowledge it. Deep down, we know there’s all kind of “stuff” that can hold us back – if we let it. And this is where we become Master of our Mindset and help others to do the same.

“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen”.
– Michael Jordan –

Have you seen The Matrix?

Remember how they refer to Neo as ”The One”?

In this case, “The One” means the one from the prophecy who is going to save humanity from the machines.

This may seem a bit egocentric right? Well, let’s look into it a bit more …

Being “The One” is a very powerful way to be in relationship to any goal.
Being “The One” means recognising that no one else is going to do it for you.
Being “The One” means taking 100% responsibility.
It’s taking a stand and declaring that you will make it happen.

It might mean claiming leadership or it might mean being “The One” in a quiet way that nobody notices – either way, you’re “The One” who can get stuff done!

It doesn’t mean grasping power away from anyone else, or dominating others. There is still room for cooperation.

There might be many other “Ones” working toward a common goal and each one might be thinking they’re “The One”.

Whether or not other people are stepping up and expressing their power, you’re going to make sure it happens.

If you have a team working with you, great. You may run your business on your own. If you don’t do either of these, it’s still going to happen. Why?

Because you’re “The One” and you’re not going to wait around to see what others do.

Being “The One” is claiming your power and claiming responsibility in its purest form.

  • It is taking a stand.
  • It is being a catalyst.
  • It is dropping all excuses.
’I am a nutritionist and had this limiting belief that I needed to be fit and well ALL of the time or I shouldn’t be helping others with their health. Fortunately, my coach, Korinne Le Page had a different view and helped me break out of this destructive shame cycle using a great analogy.  

She said; “so what you’re saying is, if a mechanic has a car, it can’t break down.” I nearly fell on the floor laughing at the preposterousness of it.  A lightbulb went off.  “Well, if you put it like that, I better start giving myself a break” and I set about changing that negative belief.’’

–Sophie Shand, Fuller Nutrition, May 2021-

I invite you to book a completely complimentary Coaching Session HERE Why do I offer this free of charge?

Because I understand that this one session may be enough and all you need in that moment. And if it’s not and you want to continue, that’s fine too.

Who do you need to be in order to achieve your goal or vision?

This is one of my favourite questions to ask my clients. Consciously choosing who you’re being can dramatically change your life and the results you’re producing. There are no ”right” ways to be. And this is wonderful because you get to find your own authentic way of being that works for you.

As always, I will leave that with that thought.

With best wishes for your success!

Korinne

P.S. Ask me about the next Communication Code Group Programme

Korinne Le Page
www.CommunicationCode.co.uk

Thought for the Week – What is REAL Empowerment?

empowerment

 

In last week’s Thought for the Week, I told you about how was about how “My Boss Changed my Life”! You can find previous posts here in my Blog.

 

Because my boss at that time, Carolyne listened to me, believed in me, empowered me and made me feel like an equal, I am now doing what I do all these years later and for me, I am blessed to feel like this …

As you know, I work with Business Owners and Leaders and empower them to communicate authentically so they have more impact and thrive in their lives.

So, HOW do I help them to achieve that?

Through personal development and coaching.

Now, I want to dispel a myth about Coaching and this is important because this is how my ex-boss Carolyne made such a difference to me … 

The successful manager as coach, doesn’t do the work for the client. They allow them to do the work, so they build their understanding, self-awareness, confidence, and self-esteem.

The successful career coach doesn’t write a resume for their client – instead, they ask their client to write a history of their professional accomplishments.

This takes longer, and it’s more challenging in certain ways. But what this approach does is it actually empowers the other person more.

This is Coaching.

So, you may well ask;

“So, if a Coach isn’t going to tell me what to do, why would I have coaching then?”

Well, let’s look at what Mentoring is …

What’s the difference between Coaching and Mentoring?

We would have a mentor if we need guidance on what we should do. This may be when we are new in a role, or we want up scale-up a business for example. Then we would have a mentor who is an exert in that specific field and they will tell us what to do.

So, you can see the difference.

Last week, I left you with this quote:

“Good Leadership is an opportunity to bring someone back to their own mind, to show them how good they can be”

-Nancy Kline-

And here is an excerpt from another piece that Nancy Kline wrote about Coaching … 

“Many coaches say that the purpose of coaching is to take clients from where they are now to where they want to be. 

Many say in the next breath that, in organisations, the purpose of coaching is to take clients from where they are now to where the sponsor wants them to be. 

Hearteningly, a few say that the purpose of coaching is for clients to think. 

Given that the quality of everything our clients do depends on the quality of the thinking they do first, generating a client’s finest thinking is surely the point of it all. I would go further, though. I would say that the purpose of coaching is for clients to think – for themselves. 

For themselves changes everything.

For themselves requires new expertise.

For themselves startles us into seeing that if we look in the wrong place, we find the wrong thing. 

Second by second as we coach, we could hold in our minds the question … 

‘How far can this person go in their own productive, original thinking before they need mine? And how much further than that? And how much further even than that can they go for themselves before they need my thinking?’ 

And, we could decide to hear the answer to; ‘How far can they go?’ Far. Far”.

By the way, if you would like to sample Coaching for yourself, you can book a completely complimentary Coaching Session HERE

“After my first session with Korinne I identified what my key message is and where I want my business to go. She has a natural ability to connect with you and asks the right questions to find out what you are hoping to achieve. Her coaching skills are brilliant and I highly recommend her. Thanks, Korinne, you have really made a difference in my life!”–Ali Monjack – 4TheNow Media Nov 21- Website: www.4TN.co.uk

I have a Coach myself and every successful Business Owner and Leader will do for the reasons I have given. And every one of us will say it really has changed our lives and continues to do so.

As always, I will leave that with that thought.

With best wishes for your success,

Korinne

P.S. Ask me about the next Communication Code Group Programme

Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training
www.Thrive-Coaching.biz
www.CommunicationCode.co.uk

Thought for the Week – My Boss Changed My Life!

my-boss-changed-my-life

 

Last week’s Thought for the Week was about “Owning It” which I hope you found thought-provoking!

I mentioned that I used to be shy and had a fear of speaking in front of people, even though I met hundreds of people a day working in Customer Service for British Airways (on the ground).

I had been working as Duty Manager in the Lost Baggage department for around 3 years when one day my boss, called Carolyne, came to tell me that a job had come up in the BA Training Department and she believed I should go for it.

Well, I said; “Hmm! Have you forgotten how terrified I am every time I have to do a presentation in front of people?”

Because Carolyne listened to me, believed in me, empowered me and made me feel like an equal, I applied for the job and was successful. Of course, my fear didn’t go away and I wondered what I had done!

Well, I hope you can remember a time when someone who was a boss, a teacher, scout leader, Brown Owl or whatever changed your life too!

My first assignment was to write a Stress Management Programme for the airline that would be delivered world-wide. Because I was training to be a counsellor at the time with the BA Employee Assistance Programme, his was in my comfort zone. Step 1 was accomplished.

Even though I still had nerves about delivering training sessions, I realised that I was so much more confident when I delivered my own training material. I had ownership. It was when I had to learn something new and deliver it that the fear really kicked in.

However, I overcame it and was managing a team of trainers world-wide and then Training Account Manager for the UK Airports. One of my projects was training staff across the UK in ticketless travel when it first arrived in the UK. (How did we manage before when we had paper tickets!)

Then on 01 Jan 2022, I started my own Training Company!

So, thank you Carolyne! Today we are the leaders that people will remember tomorrow who made a big difference to their lives.

“Good Leadership is an opportunity to bring someone back to their own mind, to show them how good they can be”

-Nancy Kline-

As always, I will leave that with that thought.

By the way, The Communication Code Group Coaching Programme has started with a lovely group of Business Owners and Leaders and all is going very well.

With best wishes,
Korinne 

P.S. Ask me about the next Communication Code Group Programme

P.P.S. Why not start the year by booking a Complimentary Clarity Session! Click HERE

Thought for the Week – Owning it!

Last week’s Thought for the Week was about “That is a Great Question” which I hope you found thought and question-provoking!

Share your thoughts too.

We know that asking great questions helps us and others to understand better, and also enables us to understand ourselves. And there’s a real science to asking great questions.

The thing is, how can we ask a very powerful and thought-provoking question if first we don’t listen?

If we want to feel empowered and be taken seriously, another very important factor is – and you are probably already doing this, even if you don’t realise it – is “”Owning it!!

I learned this one when I was much shyer than I am now. I realised that I was playing safe and resisting holding my head above the parapet because it seemed safer to go with the opinions of others, rather than voice my own.

Hmmm …. that was a real biggie when I stepped out of my comfort zone there for the first time! But it was a momentous lightbulb moment for me.

Suddenly, people wanted to hear what I had to say! They were interested and I felt so much more empowered to stand in my own space and that’s when I took the plunge and started my own business.

This may seem hard to believe – I used to be shy!

Despite my shyness (and overcoming my fear of speaking in front of people), I had been training people world-wide for British Airways on communication skills, assertiveness, leadership, customer service, wellbeing etc.

And one of the key tools I covered in most of these programmes was …

The “I” Statement!

You may well have heard this and before I go into it, I want to first ask you a question:

How do you feel when another person starts a sentence with “You ……”?

For instance;

“You forgot to do that”

“You always do that”

Do you immediately feel like you have a bull’s eye attached to your forehead?

Like you have to be on the defensive?

Well, that’s where the “I” Statement comes in.

 

i-statement

It’s all about intentionally starting our sentences with “I” and owning it!

For instance;

“I thought the seminar went well because ….”

“I’m feeling uneasy about that option”

“I would prefer it’s done this way”

“I’m going to have to say no”

What’s the difference between that and starting sentences with “You ….”?

  • “I” Statements are among the most powerful you can make.
  • Using “I” is the hallmark of Assertiveness.
  • You are affirming who you are and what you want.

Looking at the above letter I think of it like a PILLAR that strengthens  your impact and authority, supporting everything you say and stand for.

It is about accountability …

“Accountability is the measure of a leader’s height”

-Jeffrey Benjamin-

[Jeffrey D. Benjamin occupies the position of Chairman for A-Mark Precious Metals, Inc. and Chairman at ImOn Communications LLC.]

As always, I will leave that with that thought.

With best wishes,
Korinne

P.S. Ask me about The Communication Code Group Programme starting soon!

P.P.S. Why not start the year by booking a Complimentary Clarity Session! Click HERE

Thought for the Week – That is a Great Question!

Last week’s Thought for the Week was about “Hitting the Reset Button” which I hope you found thought-provoking. Even if you get a tiniest seed of thought from these weekly emails, then that is my aim. All my previous posts can be seen below.

Naturally, we all want to be the best version of ourselves and enjoy our best possible life and not to repeat any out-dated patterns of the past! As Albert Einstein famously said;

“If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got”

And, after the past 2 years, we all expect more from life now and look for more meaning now than before. So, humanity is going through a huge shift right now.

Last week, I suggested asking yourself questions to explore what your heart truly wants and to visualise your greatest desire and that exploring what our heart wants actually helps our brain to make it happen!

How many times can you remember someone asking you a really great question that made you really think deeper about something? What impact did that have on you?

How many times have you asked a question and that person said: “That’s a great Question”?

Asking great questions helps others to understand better, and there is a real science to asking great questions.

You will probably know about open and closed questions, leading questions, which is great. There is a time to ask an open question and a time to ask a closed one.

But there is so much more to questions than that because in order to ask great questions, first we have to listen. And many people think they are good listeners and many are and at the same time, many are not.

How can we ask a very powerful and thought-provoking question if first we don’t listen?

And that means parking our own agenda on the shelf in that moment so we can focus on the other person.

In reality, how often does that actually happen? When someone asks us a question and then gives us space to think?

This is a huge topic and one that I am passionate about – I train people to become certified coaches and this is one of the first things they learn about. Without exception, I see the scales fall from their eyes when they start to really understand what good listening is and how important it is to ask great questions!

So, asking a great question comes from great listening and then listening to their answer, asking another great question and so on until a lightbulb flashes on for that person.

I said earlier that asking great questions is a science, well here is a famous quote:

“The scientist is not a person who gives the right answers, They are the one who asks the right questions.”Claude Levi-Strauss-

As always I will leave that with that thought.

Lastly, I am going to send you a tool shortly that changed my life when I was at that point years ago when I felt anxious about the future. So, look out for this landing in your inbox!

With best wishes,
Korinne 

P.S. Ask me about The Communication Code Group Programme starting soon!

P.P.S. Why not start the year by booking a Complimentary Clarity Session! Click HERE