I hope you got something out of last week’s Thought for the Week; “The Communication Source” and to be a really good communicator, we have to manage our emotions first before we can put our communication techniques into practice.
I also write a “Thought for the Week” blog each week. You can read my previous blogs below.
As you know by now, I work as a Coach and Workshop Leader helping professional people to become even better communicators, even if they believe they are already doing well. We only become more self-aware that something is amiss when something doesn’t go so well, right?
Of course, different people will interpret the same sentence in different ways, even on different days depending how they feel at that time. So, we have no control over how people react to what we say.
What we can do though is check in with ourselves every now and then and gently notice our own communication styles in different scenarios. Because, as I wrote last week, this becomes a subconscious process and we tend to get into habits in the way we speak, ask questions, answer questions, listen, don’t listen etc.
And I say gently notice because we are only human and won’t always get it 100% right and judging ourselves harshly is very unlikely to improve the way we communicate. The same when others judge us harshly; we can clam up, avoid speaking up, become defensive and even lose our confidence.
When was the last time you stopped picking apart a project you’ve completed, and simply congratulated yourself for a job well done? Or, better yet, accepted a mistake you made without spending hours berating yourself?
The idea of devoting time to self-compassion feels self-indulgent. But actually, the opposite is true. Learning to look after our own emotional, physical and mental well-being helps us withstand the challenges that life throws our way, and better support those around us.
Self-compassion isn’t about letting yourself off the hook for difficult emotions and mistakes, or giving into your every whim. It’s about acknowledging the tough parts of life, and giving yourself the love you need to keep learning and moving forward.
“Transform your world by transforming your internal state. Start by learning to let go of negative self-judgment, and replace it with positive and loving thoughts about yourself. Be kind to yourself, and watch your external world change”.
[Anita Moorjani is an international speaker and author of the New York Times bestseller “Dying to Be Me“]
As always, I will leave you with that thought!
Here is a free checklist for you: 10 Mistakes that could be stopping you from being a really good communicator
I will be in touch again with more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.
With best wishes,