Last week’s Thought for the Week was; “Curiously Listening” which was about listening to understand what another person is really trying to tell us, rather than listening with the intent to reply.
You can see all of my previous blogs below.
As you have probably gathered by now, I have a thing about listening!
I’m not perfect and like any other human, I can be forgiven for those times when I don’t listen as well as I could because I’m stressed or whatever. What all of us can do is to listen as well as we possibly can and strive to be a better listener.
And here’s the thing; when someone is talking to us and we are already thinking about our reply, how well are we actually listening?
If only every citizen of the World listened to each other with empathy and compassion, imagine how different it would be!
Some may ask why it’s so important to listen? I would ask them how they feel when someone really listens to them and gives them space and time to think.
And that’s a real gift.
In one of my earlier blogs, I mentioned a book that I read when I was training to be a coach; “Time to Think: by Nancy Kline.
How can you create and be in a thinking environment where everybody thrives? Here are 10 ways of being with others that generates creativity, good thinking, motivation, open-mindedness towards each other and trust …
Ten components of a thinking environment: –
- Give your full attention and listen. If you give attention and take a genuine interest in what the person thinks and will say next, they will think better around you than they would if you interrupt them or listen only in order to reply.
- Create an environment of equality. If you regard the person who is thinking as your thinking equal, regardless of any power differential between you, they will think better around you, than if you see yourself as better than, or less than, they are.
- Ease. If you are at ease inside yourself, regardless of the degree of urgency and rush outside you, people will think better and faster around you than if you are in a hurry yourself.
- Appreciation. If you genuinely appreciate people 5 times more than you give feedback to them, they will think more clearly and imaginatively around you than if you focus on their faults.
- Encouragement. If you encourage people, build with them the courage to go to the unexplored edge of their thinking, by championing their excellence, they will think better around you than if you compete with them.
- Feelings. If you welcome the expression of peoples’ feelings, and are relaxed in the face of their tears, or anger or fear, they will think better around you than if you race in some way to anaesthetise them.
- Information. If you offer accurate and complete information to people and if you show respect for them facing what they have been denying, they will think better around you than if you collude with their assumption that what is true is not true, or that what is not true is.
- Diversity. If you’re interested in the diversity between you and others, the differences both in your group ideas, group identities and cultures, they will think better around you, than if you indicate (however subtly) that being just like you is best.
- Incisive Questions. If you can ask people an incisive question, one that replaces an untrue limiting assumption with a true, liberating one, they will think better around you, than if you abandon them to limiting assumptions and beliefs.
- Place. If you can prepare the place where you and they think together, so that it says to them; “you matter”, they will think better around you, than if you allow the place to be intimidating, inaccessible or culturally and aesthetically barren.
It’s from that quality of thinking that people make the best decisions and, even if you only do ONE of these things, you will be improving peoples’ thinking. And you will see that people are grateful for any one of them, any chance they get!
On a Leadership Programme with Thrive Coaching & Training, we will immerse ourselves in these components.
“How far can this person go in their own productive, original thinking before they need mine?”
-Nancy Kline-
[President of Time to Think, an international leadership development and coaching company. She is also a published author and public speaker].
If you’d like time to think with me, I invite you to book a FREE consultation. You can choose your slot HERE
So, I hope this Thought for the Week has inspired you, even a little bit and I will sign off on that note.
Have a great week and I’ll be in touch again soon with more thoughts and tips.
With best wishes,
