Welcome back!
Last week’s Thought for the Week was “Saving Your Time & Energy with Boundaries”, why it is so important and how setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out – it’s about allowing yourself the space to thrive authentically in your relationships.
If you missed it, you can catch up here
This week let’s reflect on the impact of feeling judged and how it affects us on a deeper level. Whether it’s during a meeting, a casual conversation, or simply sharing our ideas, that sense of being judged can hit us hard. It disempowers us, making us question our own worth, decisions, and contributions.
Feeling judged often triggers emotional responses that can cloud our thinking. Our confidence takes a dip, and instead of focusing on the content of the conversation, we start focusing on how others perceive us.
I have certainly been there, and I have learned over time that this response is a natural part of our emotional intelligence journey, but understanding and overcoming it is key to growth.
Judgement and Emotional Intelligence:
At its core, emotional intelligence is about understanding and managing our emotions, as well as recognising the emotions of others. When we feel judged, it directly challenges our sense of emotional security. We may feel defensive, embarrassed, or even angry. But emotional intelligence offers us a way to navigate these feelings with grace and self-awareness.
Being self-aware means recognising when we’re allowing judgement (or the perception of it) to control our thoughts. In these moments, ask yourself:
- Am I reacting to what was said, or am I reacting to how I feel about what was said?
- How am I interpreting the other person’s words or tone?
- Could there be another perspective that I’m not seeing?
Gently done in this way, self-questioning is critical to managing our emotional response. By doing so, we can distinguish between genuine constructive feedback and unnecessary criticism, helping us to respond appropriately.
Dealing with Judgement from Others:
When someone is being openly judgemental toward us, it’s easy to feel attacked. However, how we respond can shift the energy of the conversation. Here are a few strategies to handle judgemental behaviour in a way that strengthens, rather than diminishes, our emotional intelligence:
- Pause Before Reacting: Take a moment to breathe and think. Avoid responding from a place of emotion. This helps you stay calm and grounded.
- Stay Curious: Instead of getting defensive, ask open-ended questions. “Can you explain what makes you feel that way?” This can turn the judgemental moment into a more productive dialogue.
- Set Boundaries: It’s okay to politely let someone know when their judgement is unwelcome. “I appreciate your perspective; I’d like to discuss this in a more constructive way though.”
- Internal Affirmation: Remind yourself of your worth. Just because someone is judging you doesn’t mean their opinion is the truth. Rely on your inner confidence and trust in your abilities.
Building Self-Awareness:
Becoming more self-aware in conversations is essential. Whether you’re the one feeling judged or the one inadvertently casting judgement, self-awareness helps you step back, evaluate the situation, and choose a response that aligns with emotional intelligence.
If you find yourself being judgemental, take a moment to ask yourself why. What might you be projecting onto the other person? On the flip side, when you’re on the receiving end of judgement, remember that this is often more about the person judging than it is about you.
In developing emotional intelligence, we learn that feeling judged is not the end of the story; it’s an opportunity to grow. Each moment of discomfort is a chance to build resilience, foster empathy, and move toward healthier, more respectful communication.
Internal Dialog:
Lastly and probably most importantly; we have to be mindful of how we judge ourselves because we can be our own worst critic can’t we!
Instead, just gently notice what comes up and be curious. When we can do this for ourselves, we become better at being this way with others!
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.“
– Wayne Dyer –
[Internationally renowned author and speaker in the field of self-development]
This week, I invite you to notice when these situations crop up and practice being more mindful of how judgement affects us and how we can manage it. By cultivating self-awareness, we empower ourselves to navigate these moments with grace, transforming potential conflicts into opportunities for understanding and more meaningful connections.
I’d love to hear your experiences and any tips that have worked for you!
Thank you for taking the time to share this journey with me. Wishing you a week filled with clarity, balance, confidence and of course fun!
With warmest wishes,
Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!
P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!
P.P.S. Book a complimentary Clarity Session with me here
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