Misunderstood? It’s more common than you think.
Last time, we explored “The Energy of Presence – Are You Really Here?” – how showing up fully and attentively is often more powerful than words. If you missed it, you can catch up here
Now, one thing that many of us struggle with is being misunderstood – even if we are being truly present and are great communicators. It happened to me this week.
How often have you found yourself in a conversation where you believed that you were being clear, open, present and showing care, and yet the other person walked away with a completely different impression than intended?
Yes, it can be confusing and frustrating, and we have to remind ourselves that communication isn’t just about how we deliver; it’s about how it’s received. It is the space between intention and interpretation is where misunderstanding lives.
So, this week, let’s unpack the nature of misunderstanding – why it happens, how to handle it without defensiveness, and how to respond with grace when our best efforts still miss the mark.
Why Misunderstanding Happens – Even When We’re “Good” Communicators:
- Everyone hears through their own filter – shaped by past experiences, fears, perceptions and assumptions.
- Presence doesn’t override perception – even the most grounded delivery can be misread.
- Tone, timing, and context all carry weight – and sometimes they say more than our words.
How to respond to Misunderstandings, gracefully:
- Don’t Rush to Defend: Your instinct might be to explain or justify. Instead, pause. Take a breath. Respond, don’t react.
- Get Curious, Not Combative: If appropriate, you could try asking something like this: “Can I ask how that came across for you?” You might uncover a blind spot – or an emotional undercurrent that needs tending.
- Clarify, Gently: Once you’ve listened, reframe your intent. “Thanks for sharing that. What I meant to say was …” (Not to prove yourself right, rather to re-align the connection).
Being misunderstood doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re in a real human interaction / relationship – one that involves risk, repair, and growth.
Connection isn’t built through perfect communication – it’s built through the willingness to stay in the room when things go a bit pear-shaped!
“Whenever you feel misunderstood, remember that every person you meet has a different internal dictionary.”
– Haemin Sunim –
[Korean Buddhist teacher, author of ‘The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down.’]
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With warmest wishes,
Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!
P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!
P.P.S. Book a complimentary Clarity Session with me here
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