I hope you enjoyed the last Thought for the Week; “The Redwood Connection” and how we can connect and communicate effectively with others who move and speak at a faster pace than us.
If this applied to you, I would love to hear how you got on last week using the tips I gave.
You can see this and previous blogs below.
As you know, I help business owners and leaders who struggle to be taken seriously and to communicate with more impact and authority to turn things around quickly and get great results.
Let me ask this question: How do you handle it when people ghost you?
This week, my VA (virtual assistant) went ghost! She said she was enjoying the work, she has other commitments and, although she didn’t communicate this with me, this is probably because she was over-committed and didn’t like to admit it. This happened twice.
It’s a hot topic these days. We hear about ‘ghosting’ frequently in the dating scene and about relationships that went from red hot to what-the-heck-happened? But what does ghosting in the workplace mean?
It is becoming more and more common now. It goes against all we know about etiquette, manners and the importance of good communication in the corporate world.
Let’s say you are interviewing for a role, someone comes along and tells you they are really interested in the post. You want to hire them and then they don’t respond. Or, they take the role, they come along on the first day and then you never see them again? You have no idea what happened, they just quit without saying anything.
How do you handle it when that kind of thing happens? Yes, it’s a tricky one isn’t it!
The first time it happened to me, I sent a message like this:
“Hi (name), I thought we were off to an amazing start, but you sort of disappeared. I hope everything’s OK. If you want to talk, I’d love to know what happened, good or bad.”
She replied saying she had been in hospital but was fully OK again and wanted to carry on. So we did and while I was on holiday, she did some good work for me and she made recommendations for next steps.
Then when I got back, it happened again! Zero contact once again. So, this time I have just accepted that it is what it is – her inability to share her truth and if she wanted to talk about it she would.
So, when it comes to how to communication here, it’s all about how I manage my internal communication. And when I work with clients who have experienced something similar, this is the bit they struggle with.
Yes, emotions can kick in …
“What did I do or say to make her do that?”
“Is this my fault?”
It can feel like a rejection! Whatever you feel it is valid as a human. And while it’s a positive thing to ask ourselves these questions, you will know whether this is true or not.
And whose responsibility is it after that?
Theirs. We can take responsibility for our part and then we have to let go because that person is processing something they aren’t ready to share.
We deal with our “stuff” and they deal with theirs.
The ghosting says far more about the ‘ghoster’ than the ‘ghosted’.
Don’t take it personally. And don’t spend too much time replaying every word and detail over in your head or wondering what you could’ve done differently. Most likely, nothing.
Has this happened to you with trades people too? People don’t return your calls or get back to you with quotes, leaving you hanging?
In life, relationships are everything and those we connect with on a genuine level, will always remember us.
And let me ask you – have you ever ghosted anyone in business?
If so, that person could come back into your life in a very powerful position! Even if they don’t, we never know how our paths may cross again in the future!
Ghosting destroys Corporate etiquette – never forget the importance of effective communication in business.
As always, I will be in touch again with more thoughts and tips on how you, and / or your team can be more effective communicators.
So, if you, or one of your colleagues is ready to explore this further, you / they can book a complimentary 30-minute consultation with me! There is absolutely no obligation. After 30 minutes, you / they will have gained more clarity on the next steps, empowering you / them to thrive.
“Never make someone else the main character in your own story.”
-J.M. Darhower, Ghosted–
As always, I will leave you with that thought!
With best wishes for your success.