Thought for the Week: Misunderstood – Now What?

misundertstandingMisunderstood? It’s more common than you think.

Last time, we explored “The Energy of Presence – Are You Really Here?” – how showing up fully and attentively is often more powerful than words. If you missed it, you can catch up here

Now, one thing that many of us struggle with is being misunderstood – even if we are being truly present and are great communicators. It happened to me this week.

How often have you found yourself in a conversation where you believed that you were being clear, open, present and showing care, and yet the other person walked away with a completely different impression than intended?

Yes, it can be confusing and frustrating, and we have to remind ourselves that communication isn’t just about how we deliver; it’s about how it’s received. It is the space between intention and interpretation is where misunderstanding lives.

So, this week, let’s unpack the nature of misunderstanding – why it happens, how to handle it without defensiveness, and how to respond with grace when our best efforts still miss the mark.

Why Misunderstanding Happens – Even When We’re “Good” Communicators:

  • Everyone hears through their own filter – shaped by past experiences, fears, perceptions and assumptions.
  • Presence doesn’t override perception – even the most grounded delivery can be misread.
  • Tone, timing, and context all carry weight – and sometimes they say more than our words.

How to respond to Misunderstandings, gracefully:

  1. Don’t Rush to Defend: Your instinct might be to explain or justify. Instead, pause. Take a breath. Respond, don’t react.
  2. Get Curious, Not Combative: If appropriate, you could try asking something like this: “Can I ask how that came across for you?” You might uncover a blind spot – or an emotional undercurrent that needs tending.
  3. Clarify, Gently: Once you’ve listened, reframe your intent. “Thanks for sharing that. What I meant to say was …” (Not to prove yourself right, rather to re-align the connection).

Being misunderstood doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re in a real human interaction / relationship – one that involves risk, repair, and growth.

Connection isn’t built through perfect communication – it’s built through the willingness to stay in the room when things go a bit pear-shaped!

 

“Whenever you feel misunderstood, remember that every person you meet has a different internal dictionary.”

– Haemin Sunim –

[Korean Buddhist teacher, author of ‘The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down.’]

 

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With warmest wishes,

korinne-sig

Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!
P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!

P.P.S. Book a complimentary Clarity Session with me here

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Thought for the Week: The Energy of Presence – Are You Really Here?

leadership-presenceWe live in a noisy world – and yet the loudest thing in any room isn’t always someone’s voice. It’s their presence.

You’ve felt it. That unmistakable calm when someone is fully with you – not rushing to fix, perform, or speak. Just being truly present.

It’s rare. And that’s what makes it powerful.

Here’s a thought exercise you can try: 

Mini Self-Check – Presence in Practice:

  • Body: What’s your posture saying in most of your interactions lately – open or guarded?
  • Mind: Are you running an inner script when others speak, or genuinely tuned in?
  • Energy: Are you in a rush to fill the silence, or comfortable holding space?

Each week, I offer more insights, exercises and tips to those on my list. If you would like to Subscribe to Thrive, click here.

Being Heard Without Saying Much:

So, you don’t have to say a lot to have impact. You just have to be there.

 

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. Presence is how you guide others without speaking a word.”

– John Maxwell –

[New York Times Best-selling Author – he wrote many books, primarily focusing on leadership. Titles include ‘The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership’ and ‘The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader’.]

 

This week, I invite you to practise not just listening better more about being better at being present.

In conversations. In meetings. With loved ones. And maybe most importantly – with yourself.

Because presence is the true language of trust.

With warmest wishes,

korinne-sig

Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!
P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!

P.P.S. Book a complimentary Clarity Session with me here

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Thought for the Week – When Words Aren’t Enough

when-words-are-not-enoughHave you ever said all the right words … yet felt totally misunderstood?

Words Matter of course – they’re just 7% of the story though!

Communication is more than what we say.

In fact, research by psychologist Albert Mehrabian suggests that in our face-to-face communication:

  • Only 7% is about the actual words.
  • 38% is our tone of voice.
  • And a powerful 55% is body language – facial expressions, posture, gestures, even the quality of our presence.

That’s staggering.

It means we could be saying all the “right” things … and still creating dissonance if our energy tells a different story.

Changing the narrative on how we communicate recognises this deeper truth.

It calls us to connect not just from the head, also with the heart and body.

It’s not just about being articulate – it’s about being aligned.

This week, I invite you to ask yourself:

  • Where are your words coming from – head, heart, or gut?
  • Is your tone reinforcing or contradicting your message?
  • How are you being in the spaces between when you speak?

When we show up with coherence – words, tone, and body in alignment – we create trust, safety and connection.

Because the most powerful language we speak is who we are when we walk into the room.

 

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

-Maya Angelou –

 

With warmest wishes,

korinne-sig

Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!
P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!

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Thought for the Week – The Space Between Words

The-Space-Between-WordsWhen was the last time you let silence do the talking?

Last time, we explored Beyond the Buzzword – What Does “Connection” Really Mean? This was about how real connection happens, when both inner understanding and outer acknowledgement happen in synch with each other. If you missed it, you can catch up here

In a world that rewards fast replies, constant updates, and high output, silence can feel like a threat. A lost moment. A missed chance.

Yet what if silence is the moment when real communication actually begins?

We often think of communication as what is being said. What about the pauses though? The breath before a response? The moment someone hesitates – or chooses not to speak.

To take communication to the next level, we’re not just exchanging information – we’re cultivating presence. And in that presence, silence isn’t empty. It’s alive.

Why Silence Matters

We’re taught to listen for words, and yet the nervous system listens for more:

  • The pause before someone answers.
  • The breath between thoughts.
  • The moment someone doesn’t say something – and everything that still speaks – our facial expressions, gestures etc.

Silence can signal thoughtfulness. Respect. Emotional safety.

Or it can bring up discomfort, impatience, even fear – not because it’s bad, but because we’re not used to it.

In Indigenous and wisdom traditions, silence is often sacred, such as within the peoples of the Northwest Coast in North America. It’s where the unseen becomes felt. Where stories gestate. Where truth surfaces without being forced.

Deeper Listening

Of course, deeper listening comes hand-in-hand with silence. To practice regenerative communication is to recognise silence as a co-creative space.

Just as soil needs rest between seasons, so too does speech need space to breathe.

Try this:

  • After someone finishes speaking, count to three before you respond.
  • When you feel tempted to fill a pause, ask: What wants to emerge here if I wait?
  • If you’re unsure what to say, honour that. Let the silence speak for you.

 What Becomes Possible in the Pause?

When we stop filling every space with sound, a few surprising things start to happen:

  • People say more meaningful things – because they feel listened to.
  • We notice more – tone, emotion, body language.
  • Conversations slow down – and often go deeper.

Silence can also be a form of invitation. It allows others to reflect, to speak from a truer place, to feel held without pressure.

Reflection for the Week

  • Where in your life are you rushing to fill the silence?
  • What does silence feel like in your body?
  • How can you practice listening beyond words this week?

 

“Silence is not the absence of something but the presence of everything.”

– Gordon Hempton –

[Acoustic ecologist Gordon Hempton collects sounds from around the world.]

 

In communication, silence is not a lack – it’s a doorway.

With warmest wishes,

korinne-sig

Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!
P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!

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Thought for the Week – Beyond the Buzzword – What Does “Connection” Really Mean?

connection-jigsaw“Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling like you weren’t really seen or heard – even though the other person was apparently ‘listening’?”

Last time, we explored Shifting from Listening to Sensing and not just hearing words, but tuning into the unspoken, the energy, the presence behind them. If you missed it, you can catch up here

This week, I want to dig a little deeper into what often gets associated with that conversation: Connection.

“Connection” is one of those words that gets tossed around easily. It sounds great. It feels good. Yet when you sit with it … what does it actually mean?

Is it about being kind? Empathetic? Present?

Yes, and yet that’s only part of the story.

At a fundamental level, Connection = Understanding + Acknowledgment.

It’s a bit like ‘two-factor authentication’ for communication – we need both to truly “log in” to someone else’s world.

  • If I understand you, and yet you don’t feel seen, we’re not connected.
  • If I acknowledge your words and yet miss their meaning, we’re still not connected.

what-is-real-connection

Connection happens in the overlap.

It’s not just about what’s said, it’s about what is sensed and expressed. And when both of those pieces are present, something shifts. You don’t just talk – you resonate.

So, this week, I invite you to notice:

  • Where is real connection happening for you?
  • Where isn’t it happening?
  • Where might only one circle be present?
  • What might shift if you brought both? 

 

“When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, it feels damn good.”

– Carl Rogers –

[An American psychologist who was one of the founders of humanistic psychology and was known especially for his person-centred psychotherapy.]

 

Connection isn’t just a buzzword – it’s a practice.

With warmest wishes,

korinne-sig

Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!

P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!

P.P.S. Book a complimentary Clarity Session with me here

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Thought for the Week – Shifting From Listening to Sensing

shift-symbolLast time, we explored moving from debate to discovery, and how curiosity can transform conversations.  If you missed it, you can catch up here

This week, let’s go one layer deeper:

What happens when we truly listen – not just with our ears, but with our full attention, presence, and even intuition?

This shift invites us into a more grounded, attuned way of being with each other. One that fosters trust, empathy, and new possibilities.

Many of us have been taught to listen with the goal of responding rather than understanding. This approach to communication often limits the depth and possibilities of our interactions.

Sensing goes beyond hearing words. It’s about tuning into:

  • What’s not being said.
  • The emotion under the surface.
  • The patterns and energy of the conversation.
  • What’s trying to emerge between you.

This kind of deep listening builds trust and nurtures a space where new insights – and even transformation – can take root.

Try this shift in conversation:

Instead of Listening to Reply: e.g., “I see what you’re saying, but here’s what I think…”

Try Listening to Connect: e.g., “That’s an interesting perspective – can you tell me more, so I fully understand where you’re coming from?”

Sensing invites us to pause – to be still enough to notice what’s not being said. It opens up a space where empathy, intuition, and innovation can come alive.

Here are some ‘Sensing Practices’ to try:

  • Pause before responding! This lets silence do some of the work. (Yes, many of us can be uncomfortable with silences and this is usually why we feel the pressure to fill those silences right)?

Yet, when we do that, rather than allowing the natural flow to evolve, this disconnects us.

  • Ask yourself: “What’s not being said?” to invite hidden insights.
  • Notice your own inner response: What do you feel in your body as the other person speaks? Notice what comes up for you and trust this.
  • Reflect what you’re sensing: “It sounds like this really matters to you…”
  • Notice tone and pacing:Usually, how someone speaks tells us more than what they say.
  • Ask for clarification: e.g., “What feels most important here?”

Why does it matter to ‘sense to understand and connect’?

Our interactions thrive on deep connection, mutual understanding, and emergent insight. When we practice sensing, we move from transactional exchanges to transformational conversations. We stop trying to contrail and drive outcomes and begin to be in flow with what’s unfolding.

 

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood.”

– Ralph Nichols –

[Dr. Nichols was a pioneer in drawing attention to both the importance and scientific understanding of developing proficient listening skills]

 

This week, I invite you to try one moment of “sensing instead of solving.” Notice what shifts.

Wishing you a week of deeply connected conversations,

With warmest wishes,

korinne-sig

Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!
P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!

P.P.S. Book a complimentary Clarity Session with me here

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Thought for the Week – From Debate to Discovery

shifting-perspectivesLast time, we explored “Turning Conflict into Co-Creation” and how shifting to a both / and mindset opens up more expansive, creative, and sustainable solutions.

If you missed it, you can catch up here

Have you ever been in a conversation where both sides seem locked in opposition, without any room for movement?

How often to we enter discussions with the goal of proving a point or defending our perspective? While healthy debate can be valuable, it can also create division rather than connection.

What if we approached conversations not as a battle to be won but as a discovery to be made?

The Shift: From Argument to Inquiry

When we engage in debate, we tend to focus on what separates us.

Shifting to discovery means approaching conversations with curiosity and an open mind. Instead of assuming we have the answer, we explore the possibility that there’s more to learn.

Try these shifts:

X – Debate: “That’s not correct.”

Y – Discovery: “That’s an interesting perspective. Can you share more about what led you to that conclusion?”

X – Debate: “I disagree.”

Y – Discovery: “I see it differently – here’s why. What’s your take on that?”

By replacing defensiveness with curiosity, we invite a richer, more meaningful exchange of ideas.

The Power of Generative Questions

One of the simplest yet most effective ways to shift from debate to discovery is by asking better questions. Thoughtful, open-ended questions encourage deeper dialogue and lead to unexpected insights.

Here are a few to try:

  • “What’s most important to you about this issue?”
  • “What experiences have shaped your view?”
  • “How else could we look at this?”

Expanding the Conversation: From Either / Or to Both / And

Debate often forces us into a binary mindset -one side is right, and the other is wrong. Discovery, on the other hand, embraces complexity and nuance.

Instead of asking, “Should we prioritise X or Y?” try, “How might we find a way to support both X and Y?”

When we shift from either / or thinking to both / and possibilities, we create space for solutions that are more inclusive, creative, and effective.

From Resistance to Possibility

When we engage in discovery-based conversations, we move from resistance to possibility. We replace the need to “win” with the opportunity to learn. We step away from conflict and toward collaboration.

 

“Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument is an exchange of ignorance.”

– Robert Quillen –

[American Journalist and Humourist hailed as “the Sage of Fountain Inn” by the highly influential critic Alexander Woolcott]

 

What’s one conversation this week where you can shift from debate to discovery?

Wishing you a week of conversations filled with discovery!

With warmest wishes,

korinne-sig

Korinne Le Page

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!
P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!

P.P.S. Book a complimentary Clarity Session with me here

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Thought for the Week – Turning Conflict into Co-Creation

conflict-to-co-creationI hope you’re keeping well and thriving!

Last time, we explored “Shaping Dialogue with Smarter Questions” and when we learn to ask more thoughtful, expansive questions, we create richer conversations, deeper connections, and better solutions. If you missed it, you can catch up here

We’ve all been there – caught in a heated debate where no one seems to be listening, just waiting for their turn to speak. In these moments, conversation becomes less about understanding and more about winning.

But what if the goal wasn’t to win, but to co-create?

Reframing Conflict: From Opposition to Opportunity

Language is a powerful tool. It can divide us or bring us together. Often, the way we frame our words determines whether we create walls or bridges in conversations.

Consider these subtle shifts in language:

X “That won’t work because …” ? YES: “How might we make this work differently?”

X “I don’t agree with you.” ? YES: “I see it differently – here’s why.”

X “You’re wrong.” ? YES: “What if we looked at it from another angle?”

These simple adjustments turn debate into dialogue, allowing for curiosity, collaboration, and new possibilities to emerge.

Beyond Either / Or: Embracing Both / And Thinking

We often fall into the trap of either / or thinking – where there’s a “right” side and a “wrong” side. Regenerative thinking encourages us to embrace both / and possibilities.

For example:
X “Should we prioritise people or the planet?”

YES: “How might we create solutions that support both people and the planet?”

Shifting to a both / and mindset opens up more expansive, creative, and sustainable solutions.

The Language of Collaboration

Here are a few ways to make your language more co-creative:

YES: Replace “but” with “and.” (“I see your point, and what if we also considered…”)
YES: Ask “What’s possible?” instead of “What’s wrong?”
YES: Seek to understand before being understood. (“Tell me more about your perspective.“)

Small Shifts, Big Impact

By being intentional with our words, we can turn friction into flow, resistance into resonance, and conflict into co-creation.

 

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

– Albert Einstein –

 

What’s one way you’ve shifted a conversation from conflict to co-creation? Let’s keep the dialogue going.

Wishing you a week of meaningful conversations,

With warmest wishes,

korinne-sig

Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!

P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!

P.P.S. Book a complimentary Clarity Session with me here

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Thought for the Week – Shaping Dialogue with Smarter Questions

closed-vs-open-questionsLast time, we explored “Reframing Conversations for Positive Change” and how consciously reframing our conversations helps us to move beyond old narratives and into a much more empowering space.

If you missed it, you can catch up here

This week let’s take it further by looking at the power of the questions we ask – because the quality of our conversations is shaped by the quality of our questions.

Why the Questions We Ask Shape Our Conversations

Have you ever left a conversation feeling stuck, uninspired, or misunderstood? Often, this has less to do with the answers given and more to do with the questions asked.

The way we frame our questions can either expand possibilities or reinforce limitations. A simple shift in how we inquire can lead to new insights, stronger connections, and more meaningful dialogue.

The Power of Questions

How does it feel when you ask a question and someone genuinely says; “That’s a great question”?

A question is more than a request for information – it’s a tool for shaping thought and perspective.

For example, consider the difference between:

  • Why is this so difficult? What’s one small step we could take to make progress?
  • Who made the mistake? What can we learn from this experience?
  • Is there even a solution? What haven’t we tried yet?

One approach focuses on blame, frustration, or limitation. The other invites growth, curiosity, and action. By shifting the way we ask questions, we shift the nature of our conversations – and, in turn, the outcomes we create. 

How to Ask Better Questions

1. Shift from Closed to Expansive Questions:

Closed questions (those that can be answered with “yes” or “no”) limit exploration. Instead, try open-ended questions that encourage deeper thinking.

The reality is that, even when we know this, we can forget and still ask closed questions! So, we need to consciously choose open and expansive questions.

Here are some examples of choosing smarter questions:

X Do you like this idea? YES: Which aspects of this idea resonate with you?
X Do you agree? YES: What’s your perspective on this?
X Is this the best way ? YES: What alternatives might be worth considering?

2. Ask Questions That Inspire Possibility

Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, focus on what’s possible.

X What’s the problem? YES: What opportunities does this challenge present?
X Why won’t this work? YES: How might we make this work differently?

3. Be Curious and Present

Great questions come from genuine curiosity. Instead of preparing your next response while someone is speaking, truly listen – and let that guide your next question.

4. Encourage Reflection

The best questions don’t just get quick answers – they get people thinking. Ask questions that enable others to pause and consider new perspectives.

The Ripple Effect of Better Questions

When we become more intentional about the questions we ask, we create conversations that inspire engagement, collaboration, and innovation.

So, this week, challenge yourself:

  • How can I ask better questions in my conversations?
  • What shifts when I replace limiting questions with possibility-driven ones?

By changing the way we ask, we change the way we connect, think, and create.

 

“Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”

– Tony Robbins –

 

Let’s keep the conversation going – what’s the best question you’ve asked recently?

Wishing you a great week!

With warmest wishes,

korinne-sig

Korinne Le Page
Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!
P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!

P.P.S. Book a complimentary Clarity Session with me here

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Thought for the Week – Reframing Conversations for Positive Change

reframing-conversationsLast time, we explored “Creating Space for Meaningful Dialogue” and how the way we listen can deepen connections and foster understanding. If you missed it, you can catch up here

This week let’s take it a step further by looking at how we frame our conversations and the impact this has on shaping outcomes. Are we reinforcing old, limiting narratives, or are we creating space for fresh, possibility-driven dialogue?

Image by Eyestetix Studio

Why Reframing Matters

Language is powerful and the way we talk about challenges influences how we perceive and respond to them.

A problem-focused approach can reinforce limitations, keeping us stuck in cycles of frustration. On the other hand, a possibility-oriented mindset opens the door to fresh perspectives, new opportunities and regenerative solutions.

The Shift from Problem to Possibility

Instead of asking:

  • What’s the problem? Ask; What opportunities exist within this challenge?
  • Why won’t this work? Ask; How might this work in a new way?
  • Who is to blame? Ask; How can we learn and grow from this?

This doesn’t mean ignoring problems – it means shifting the focus from what’s wrong to what’s possible. When we do this, we create conversations that inspire action, engagement, empowerment and progress.

Reframing in Action

Some simple ways to cultivate possibility-oriented dialogue:

  • Use expansive language: Swap “but” for “and” to encourage openness. (You know what ‘BUT’ means …  and we can hear a ‘BUT’ coming right?)
  • Ask generative questions: Instead of “Why is this so difficult?” try “What’s one small step we could take?”
  • Tell empowering stories: Share narratives of growth and resilience rather than focusing solely on obstacles.
  • Acknowledge strengths: Recognise what’s already working as a foundation for positive change.

The Impact of Reframing

When we shift our focus from problems to possibilities, we invite innovation, creativity, and collaboration. Conversations become more productive, relationships strengthen, and solutions emerge more naturally.

 

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

– Wayne Dyer –

 

So, this week, how might you reframe a conversation to open up new possibilities? Give it a try and notice the difference.

Wishing you a great week, and let’s keep the conversation going.

With warmest wishes,

korinne-sig

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering You to Thrive!

P.S. Feel free to share your experiences and insights!

P.P.S. Book a complimentary Clarity Session with me here

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