Last week’s Thought for the Week was about “That is a Great Question” which I hope you found thought and question-provoking!
Share your thoughts too.
We know that asking great questions helps us and others to understand better, and also enables us to understand ourselves. And there’s a real science to asking great questions.
The thing is, how can we ask a very powerful and thought-provoking question if first we don’t listen?
If we want to feel empowered and be taken seriously, another very important factor is – and you are probably already doing this, even if you don’t realise it – is “”Owning it!!
I learned this one when I was much shyer than I am now. I realised that I was playing safe and resisting holding my head above the parapet because it seemed safer to go with the opinions of others, rather than voice my own.
Hmmm …. that was a real biggie when I stepped out of my comfort zone there for the first time! But it was a momentous lightbulb moment for me.
Suddenly, people wanted to hear what I had to say! They were interested and I felt so much more empowered to stand in my own space and that’s when I took the plunge and started my own business.
This may seem hard to believe – I used to be shy!
Despite my shyness (and overcoming my fear of speaking in front of people), I had been training people world-wide for British Airways on communication skills, assertiveness, leadership, customer service, wellbeing etc.
And one of the key tools I covered in most of these programmes was …
The “I” Statement!
You may well have heard this and before I go into it, I want to first ask you a question:
How do you feel when another person starts a sentence with “You ……”?
“You forgot to do that”
“You always do that”
Do you immediately feel like you have a bull’s eye attached to your forehead?
Like you have to be on the defensive?
Well, that’s where the “I” Statement comes in.
It’s all about intentionally starting our sentences with “I” and owning it!
“I thought the seminar went well because ….”
“I’m feeling uneasy about that option”
“I would prefer it’s done this way”
“I’m going to have to say no”
What’s the difference between that and starting sentences with “You ….”?
- “I” Statements are among the most powerful you can make.
- Using “I” is the hallmark of Assertiveness.
- You are affirming who you are and what you want.
Looking at the above letter “ I ” think of it like a PILLAR that strengthens your impact and authority, supporting everything you say and stand for.
It is about accountability …
“Accountability is the measure of a leader’s height”
[Jeffrey D. Benjamin occupies the position of Chairman for A-Mark Precious Metals, Inc. and Chairman at ImOn Communications LLC.]
As always, I will leave that with that thought.
With best wishes,
P.S. Ask me about The Communication Code Group Programme starting soon!
P.P.S. Why not start the year by booking a Complimentary Clarity Session! Click HERE