I hope your week is off to a great start! Last week we looked at a case study about the important of emotional intelligence in communication and business with “Jane’s Journey to Enhanced Emotional Intelligence (EQ)“. If you missed it, you can see this and all of my previous blogs HERE.

Last week, I invited you to notice your own non-verbal cues, as well as how well you ask open-ended questions, listen and show empathy with others. I hope that went well for you and you got some valuable insights.

Let’s continue with the theme of communication and its impact on personal and professional development.

I have written about ‘Effective Feedback’ in previous posts and would like to touch on it again because it plays such a critical role in communication, individual and professional growth and team dynamics. You will have seen this last week with Jane’s case study and how effective feedback helped her on her journey of self-discovery.

I have a preferred Feedback model that I would like to share again:

1. To create a safe environment where you won’t be disturbed and give assurance that everything discussed will be confidential.
2. Start by asking the person how everything is going.
3. Ask them what is going well for them right now. People often go into the negative, so it’s really empowering to suggest you explore all of the positive aspects first.
4. Then ask them what they find most challenging at the moment.
5. Ask them how they are processing this and how they plan to overcome challenges and what options they have, so they take responsibility rather than relying on others to ‘fix’ them.

By this stage who is giving the feedback? Yes, they are!

6. At this point, and only if you have anything genuine to add, tell them what you like and what you think they are doing well and then ask them if you could make some suggestions to overcome difficulties.

What advantage does this approach have to you think over us just launching into giving feedback?

I will leave you with that thought.

“Feedback is a gift. Ideas are the currency of our next success. Let people see you value both feedback and ideas”

-Tim Trinka and Les Wallace-

[Authors of ‘A Legacy of 21^st Century Leadership: A Guide for Creating a Climate of Leadership Throughout Your Organization’]

Curious to discover more about how I can help?  Book a Complimentary Discovery Call with me HERE.

With best wishes for your success,

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

I hope your week is off to a great start! Last week, we discussed the pivotal role of non-verbal cues in effective communication with “Unspoken Signals and the Cuban Missile Crisis!” If you missed it, you can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

These cues play a significant role in conveying emotions and meaning beyond words. Building on that, this week’s thought explores the profound connection between emotional intelligence and non-verbal communication.

Understanding Emotional Intelligence (EQ – Emotional Quotient):

This is a person’s ability to recognise and manage their own emotions while also understanding and influencing the emotions of others in a positive way. It involves a set of skills and competencies that enable individuals to navigate social situations, make sound decisions and build positive relationships.

The non-verbal cues we explored last week play a key role in conveying emotions, i.e., our body language, facial expressions and tone of voice, even in written communications. And EQ hinges on our ability to decode and respond to these cues accurately.

Here’s a case study of a client I worked with (I have changed her name):

Jane’s Journey to Enhanced Emotional Intelligence:

Background: Jane, a mid-level manager, was a competent and skilled professional in her field. However, she had a reputation for being abrupt and sometimes insensitive in her communication style.

Her colleagues often found her difficult to work with, and her direct reports struggled to connect with her. Jane’s career was progressing, but her lack of emotional intelligence was holding her back from reaching her full potential.

Improving Self Awareness: Jane recognised that she needed to improve her relationships and the need to develop her emotional intelligence, starting with self-awareness. She began journaling her reactions in various work situations and how she was feeling.

Over time, she identified patterns in her behaviour, noticing that she tended to react defensively when her ideas were challenged. This self-awareness was a crucial first step in her journey.

With a better understanding of her emotional triggers, Jane focused on self-regulation. She practiced taking deep breaths and pausing before responding in tense situations. She also sought feedback from trusted colleagues to help monitor her progress.

Building Empathy: Jane began taking a genuine interest in her colleagues’ opinions and concerns. She practiced active listening and often asked open-ended questions to understand their viewpoints. As a result, her colleagues felt heard and valued.

Improved Social Skills: Jane realised that to enhance her working relationships, she needed to work on her social skills. She had coaching with me, she came on one of my workshops on effective communication, conflict resolution, and team building. She also made an effort to be more approachable and to offer support to her team members.

Positive Outcomes: Jane’s commitment to improving her emotional intelligence had a profound impact on her life.

• Her relationships with colleagues and team members improved significantly.
• She became a more approachable and supportive manager, which boosted her team’s morale and productivity.
• Her colleagues found it easier to collaborate with her, and her work environment became more harmonious.

Business Negotiations: Jane’s enhanced emotional intelligence also played a significant role in her negotiations with clients and partners. She was better at understanding their needs and concerns, which allowed her to create more mutually beneficial agreements. And her ability to stay calm under pressure during negotiations made her a more effective negotiator.

Career Advancement: Jane’s new found emotional intelligence skills did not go unnoticed. Her improved leadership style and ability to manage relationships effectively led to her promotion to a higher managerial role. She became known for her EQ in the workplace, and her career continued to progress.

Conclusion: Jane’s journey to improve her emotional intelligence illustrates the transformative power of EQ on various aspects of life. By focusing on self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills, she not only enhanced her personal relationships but also enjoyed significant success in her professional life.

This case study highlights that EQ is a skill that can be developed and honed over time, leading to positive outcomes in both personal and business contexts.Top of Form

So, this week, I invite you to increase your own self-awareness and notice your own non-verbal cues, as well as how well you ask open-ended questions, listen and show empathy with others.

“In the world of business, emotional intelligence is a game-changer. It can drive your success in ways you never imagined”

-Harvey Mackay-

[Author of the New York Times #1 Bestsellers; “Swim with The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive” and “Beware the Naked Man Who Offers You His Shirt”]

Curious to learn more about how I can help?  Book a Complimentary Discovery Call with me HERE.

With best wishes for your success,

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

Last week, we ventured into; “Igniting Active Empathy“ and how Communication is not just about speaking and hearing, it’s also about two other key elements; Active Listening and Empathy. If you missed it, you can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

Last week, I mentioned how an active and empathic listener enhances communication by ensuring that messages are not only conveyed clearly, but also understood and interpreted accurately. Paying attention to others and showing understanding through verbal and non-verbal cues are crucial skills that complement clarity and specificity in communication.

So, the verbal channel is about the words we use and non-verbal cues are about our body language, facial expressions and tone of voice which all play crucial roles in conveying meaning and emotions.

Being aware of, and effectively utilising these non-verbal cues, enhances our communication no-end. I have written before to some extent on these, and in today’s World, much of our communication is remote isn’t it! How does non-verbal communication work here then?

So, this week, I’d like to share a case study of non-verbal cues in action in a most critical situation: 

Case Study: The Cuban Missile Crisis (1962)

The Cuban Missile Crisis is a well-known historical event during the Cold War when non-verbal communication played a pivotal role in averting a potential nuclear conflict between the United States and the Soviet Union.

Background: In October 1962, U.S. spy planes discovered that the Soviet Union had secretly placed nuclear missiles in Cuba, just 90 miles from the U.S. coast. Tensions escalated rapidly as President John F. Kennedy and Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev engaged in a high-stakes standoff.

The Non-Verbal Cue: Amidst this crisis, both leaders exchanged written and verbal messages through diplomatic channels. However, it was the non-verbal cue that truly de-escalated the situation. President Kennedy received a letter from Khrushchev proposing a resolution to the crisis. Simultaneously, he received another, more hostile letter from Khrushchev. Kennedy had to decide how to respond, and the fate of the world hung in the balance.

The Turning Point: Kennedy’s non-verbal cue came in the form of time. He chose to delay his response to Khrushchev’s first letter and instead responded to the more conciliatory second letter. By doing so, he sent a powerful non-verbal signal that he was willing to consider peaceful options and avoid immediate military action.

The Result: Khrushchev, receiving the delayed response to his first letter and the more peaceful tone of Kennedy’s reply, saw an opportunity for negotiation and agreed to remove the missiles from Cuba in exchange for a U.S. pledge not to invade the island. This effectively ended the crisis and prevented a potential nuclear war.

The Lesson: In this historic case, the non-verbal cue of timing and response choice played a crucial role in averting a catastrophe. President Kennedy’s decision to delay his response conveyed a willingness to seek a peaceful solution, and this non-verbal communication, along with the written and verbal exchanges, helped diffuse one of the tensest moments of the Cold War.

On a lighter note …

“Mr. Bean is at his best when he is not using words, but I am equally at home in both verbal and nonverbal expression”.

-Rowan Atkinson-

Curious to learn more about how I can help?  Book a Complimentary Discovery Call with me HERE.

With best wishes for your success,

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

13 Oct 2023

I hope your week sparked off brilliantly!

Last week, we ventured into; “The Clarity Challenge“ and how vagueness in business promotes poor results and that clarity is power. If you missed it, you can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

Leading on from this, what goes hand-in-hand with clarity is: “Active Listening” and we cannot underestimate how critical this is in business and in life. This is a subject I frequently talk about because it’s importance cannot be emphasised enough and is a huge topic in itself.

If we ask a great question that is clear and specific, what then if we don’t listen to the answer?

How often have you been on the receiving end of someone asking you a question then don’t listen to your answer?

When I cover “Active Listening” in training programmes, even those who believed they were good listeners are taken aback when we delve into this further. Most realise that they haven’t actually been really listening – this is a real lightbulb moment and, frankly life-changing!

Communication is not just about speaking and hearing, a key element is active listening and another key element that must come into play here is Empathy.

Because an active and empathic listener enhances communication by ensuring that messages are not only conveyed clearly, but also understood and interpreted accurately. Paying attention to others and showing understanding through verbal and non-verbal cues are crucial skills that complement clarity and specificity in communication.

In turn, these skills will further expand the quality of our conversations in both personal and professional settings.

So how can we actively listen?

Well, it’s a huge topic and too much to go into in depth here. The aim of the “Thought for the Week” is to give food for thought and, in Coaching, giving people time to think is the spark that ignites change.

 

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand;

they listen with the intent to reply.”

-Stephen R. Covey-

 

Curious to learn more about how I can help you?  Book a Complimentary Discovery Call with me HERE.

With best wishes for your success,

I hope your week has got off to a great start.

Last week, we ventured into the fascinating concept of; “Our Vital Force” when we face our fears and find this surge of energy that charges us to move ahead. If you missed it, you can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

In the bustling world of work and business, communication is the linchpin holding everything together isn’t it! Whether it’s sealing a deal, collaborating on a project, or simply exchanging ideas, effective communication is the key to success.

Yet, there’s an all-too-common communication issue that often flies under the radar: vagueness.

In this thought for the week, we’ll explore why vagueness ranks among the top ten communication issues in business and how speaking concisely and with more precision can pave the way for clearer and more actionable communication.

Of course, we still want to be our natural selves in our conversations. At the same time, we just may not realise when we are being vague about what we want to say or ask.

Imagine this scenario: A manager gathers their team and poses the question, “Should we change our protocol when it comes to contacting customers?” On the surface, it seems like a reasonable inquiry. However, what typically follows? More often than not, nothing substantial transpires. The reason is simple – the question is too vague to prompt actionable responses.

In this case, the manager’s intentions may be sincere, but the question lacks the specificity required to initiate meaningful change. It’s a common pitfall in business communication. Sometimes, the problem isn’t a lack of communication, but rather the way a question or statement is delivered.

So, how can we address this issue effectively?

By making our requests more actionable. What do I mean by that?

Well, instead of asking a broad question like, “Should we change our protocol?” we could rephrase it to, “What are three ways we could change our protocol today?”

Yes, the first question is a closed one that invites a simple yes or no answer. Whereas the second question will, of course, invite ideas and will be more productive.

Even when people are aware of open and closed questions, they can still easily slip into vagueness by asking closed ones.

Here’s why this shift in approach is so important:

• It encourages productive dialogue
• It Fosters innovation
• It defines expectations
• It gives accountability, follow-through and makes it easier to track progress.

You will have encountered vagueness yourself and, in business, communication is a prevalent issue that often goes unnoticed. It can hinder productivity, stifle innovation, and lead to misunderstandings.

However, by recognising the power of precision and making requests more actionable, businesses can unlock the full potential of their teams and drive meaningful change.

And this applies in all areas of our lives too doesn’t it! Like when we’re talking to friends and family, in sport, when we need to get something repaired at home etc.

So, the next time you find yourself asking a vague question, remember that clarity and specificity are the keys to fostering clear and actionable communication in business and in life.

“Know what you want. Clarity is power.

And vague goals promote vague results”.

-Robin Sharma-

[Robin Sharma is a Canadian writer, best known for his ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ book series.]

Curious to learn more about how I can help you to improve communication in your life and / or your business?  Book a Complimentary Discovery Call with me HERE.

With best wishes for your success,

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

I hope your week has got off to a great start.

Last week, we ventured into the fascinating concept of; “From Fear to Freedom” and how, if we can embrace fear, we can experience new opportunities and possibilities that we would otherwise have missed out on. If you missed it, you can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

“Fearlessness is like a muscle. I know from my own life that the more I exercise it the more natural it becomes to not let my fears run me.”

-Arianna Huffington-

And, whilst this is a key piece in the puzzle towards mastering our communication skills, we know that there are many other pieces in this mysterious journey!

I mentioned last week about the energy we get when we conquer our fears. I also previously told you how I conquered my fear of public speaking and how I am now doing the work I do, speaking in public all the time! I still feel the energy from overcoming that fear!

Another time I conquered a fear was many years ago when I discovered I was claustrophobic while pot holing in the Peak District. I was on this leadership outward bound trip as part of my training back then and you may have been on something similar yourself?

Well, the bit I was most afraid of before I went was the abseiling and yes, I was afraid and yet, with the encouragement of the team, I did it! I felt so proud and thought I had nailed this activity weekend, until it came to the pot holing!

Of course, I had never done it before and I didn’t know how narrow those passageways would be. I also hadn’t factored in the spider webs along the way! I felt panic arise and yet I didn’t know how to go backwards. Because my team members were at the other end encouraging me, I got through it – I suddenly got this surge of energy that I didn’t know I had and suddenly I was at the light at the end of the tunnel and out of there!

This is why these outward-bound activities are so powerful in team-building events. Can you think of an experience you have had like that?

And energy is so much more than how much of it we get from what we eat for breakfast or lunch! It’s this intangible force that all successful professionals are familiar with, it’s like light and air to us!

“Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait. The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas”.

–Henry Ford–

Curious to learn more about yourself in a safe and confidential environment?? Let’s explore together. Book a Complimentary Discovery Call with me HERE.

Also, I still have a space available on the next Communication Code Group Coaching Programme starting on Oct 19^th if you (or someone you know) would like to join us on this journey? (I limit this to a maximum of 8 people at a time).

Find out more here: Communication Code

With best wishes for your success,

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

I hope you are having a great week so far.

Last week, we delved into the intriguing topic of “Fear’s Hidden Gifts” and explored how embracing fear can be a catalyst for personal growth and transformation. We uncovered the paradox of fearing fear itself and how it can propel us out of our comfort zones, steering us towards uncharted territories.

If you missed it, you can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

But what if I told you that fear, while a powerful force for change, is just one piece of the puzzle in our journey toward becoming effective communicators?

This week, I’d like to introduce you to a concept that builds upon our exploration of fear, creating curiosity about what lies ahead – the Fear Factor gives us a glimpse of what’s to come!

While fear undoubtedly holds its hidden gifts, we’ll soon discover that it’s only the beginning of a fascinating journey. We will shed light on how we can, not only conquer our fears, but also harness the energy they provide. It’s a journey that goes beyond fear, focusing on the transformative power of effective communication.

Picture this: Unlocking the ability to communicate with more clarity, confidence, and impact. Imagine the doors this can open for people in their personal and professional life …

• What new opportunities might arise?
• How might your / their relationships evolve?
• How would your / their career prospects change?
• How much more effective will you / they be within the organisation?

In The Communication Code Group Coaching Programme for professionals, we explore practical strategies, insights, and techniques that empower people to master the art of communication. It’s a journey of self-discovery, personal growth, and the realisation of your full potential as a communicator.

Check it out here: https://communicationcode.co.uk/

So, whatever is holding someone back, the ‘Fear Factor’ is just the beginning. If embraced, what follows promises to be a transformational exploration of communication and its boundless possibilities.

Curious about how to master your own communication? Let’s explore together. Book a Complimentary Discovery Call with me HERE.

You possess the potential to achieve anything you want and now is the moment to reveal your inner wisdom without delay!

As Nelson Mandela wisely said …

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”

With best wishes for your success,

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

P.S.  The next available Communication Code Group Coaching Programme starts on the 19th October! Check it out.

I hope you are having a productive week so far.

Last week’s thought was; “Rewriting Your Narrative” about challenging the conditioning that doesn’t serve us well and rewrite our narrative with empowered perspectives. If you missed it, you can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

When I work with clients and we explore what is holding them back from their hopes / goals / dreams, so often it boils down to fear.

Fear is what can hold us back from embracing new opportunities, making changes, and pursuing growth.

Of course, fear is a natural part of the human experience and in-built for a very good reason; to keep us safe. Like the Stress response – fight or flight, it is part of our biology as humans.

Just like embracing and learning from the stumbling blocks on our journey, how can we learn to reframe fear as a catalyst for transformation and advancement?

Last week, I gave the quote from Marianne Williamson, which you may have heard before – sometimes we can be afraid of our own success and the potential perceived consequences of that.

We encounter different types of fear, from the fear of failure to fear of the unknown. How much do you think these fears might be rooted in conditioning?

Similar to stumbling blocks, fear can either paralyse us or push us forward. In my experience, fear can be a powerful driving force when harnessed correctly. Shifting our perspective on fear can help us see it as one of our stepping stones on our journey towards personal and professional growth.

If you can relate to this, here’s a question …

How you can break free from the paradox of fearing fear itself, and instead, leverage fear to propel yourself out of your comfort zone and towards uncharted territories?

Now this may seem bizarre; in certain cases, fear can actually present itself as a hidden gift. If a lion is running towards you, you may not see fear as a gift! And yet it’s that fear that warns you, pumps blood and adrenaline and noradrenaline around your body powering you up to run for cover!

In everyday life, how can we break free from the paradox of fearing fear itself, and instead, leverage fear to propel ourselves out of our comfort zone and towards uncharted territories?

In actual fact, fear often indicates areas where we should be paying attention, highlighting areas where growth and change are possible and necessary. We can embrace fear through personal strategies, such as practicing mindfulness, looking for the opportunities that may not be obvious, setting incremental goals, seeking support, and embracing a growth mindset.

Our conditioning often resists change, but it’s through change that we find new avenues for growth and fulfilment. So, if we can connect the concept of embracing fear with the idea of embracing change, we can gain extraordinary success.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face!”

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

Curious about how to navigate this path embracing fear? Let’s explore together. Book a Complimentary Discovery Call with me HERE.

You are capable of achieving remarkable things, and it’s time to unveil your inner warrior and recognise that – without hesitation.

With best wishes for your success,

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

P.S.  The next available Communication Code Group Coaching Programme starts on the 19th October! Check it out.

I hope you are having a great week so far.

Last week’s thought was; “Stumbling Blocks or Stepping Stones?” about how we can master our challenges and achieve our aspirations and be kind to ourselves because we will stumble along the way. If you missed it, you can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

In my previous emails, we’ve explored how we communicate, the things that hold us back, our learning journey, tapping into the wisdom of childhood lessons, and celebrating the process of growth.

On our journey through life, we encounter not only the external challenges but also the internal hurdles that come from conditioning. Conditioning that doesn’t necessarily serve us well, but rather, holds us back from embracing our unconditioned greatness. One such example is the conditioning that leads us to believe that pride in ourselves is synonymous with arrogance.

Reflect for a moment; How many times have you dimmed your own light, down-played your accomplishments, or hesitated to express your true strengths for fear of being perceived as conceited?

This is a classic instance of conditioning at play. We’ve been programmed to think that pride equates to arrogance, when in fact, it’s a vital aspect of recognising and celebrating our achievements.

Just as we cheer on a child taking those first uncertain steps, we should uplift ourselves with the same enthusiasm when we achieve milestones and conquer challenges. Celebrating your accomplishments isn’t about boasting; it’s about acknowledging the hard work, dedication, and growth that got you there. It’s a testament to your resilience and determination.

So, let’s un–condition ourselves from this self-limiting belief. Give yourself permission to embrace your achievements with grace, and let pride be a driving force towards your continued growth. Remember, you are on a journey of discovery, and every step you take, every hurdle you overcome, brings you closer to your unconditioned greatness. And help and encourage others to do the same.

As we move forward, let’s challenge the conditioning that doesn’t serve us well and rewrite our narrative with empowered perspectives. Join me on this journey of self-discovery, where we shed the layers that no longer resonate and step into our authentic power.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”

-Marianne Williamson-

[American author, speaker, and presidential candidate]

Curious about how to navigate this path of un-conditioning and self-empowerment? Let’s explore together. Book a Complimentary Discovery Call with me HERE and let’s uncover the hidden gems within you.

Stay tuned for more insights and tips as we journey together towards unconditioned greatness. You are capable of achieving remarkable things, and it’s time to recognise that without hesitation.

With best wishes for your success,

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

P.S.  The next available Communication Code Group Coaching Programme starts on the 19th October! Check it out.

I hope you are having a great week so far.

Last week’s thought was; “Our Learning Journey” about how we learn and the stages we go through before we master things along the way. You can see this and all of my previous blogs below

I mentioned about when we learn to ride a bike, drive a car and I also briefly mentioned when we learn to walk.

Well, this week I have been reflecting on a concept that I believe holds valuable insights for all of us, particularly when it comes to our own personal growth and learning. It’s centred around the way we learn to walk and talk, and how we can apply those lessons to our adult lives.

Think about the remarkable journey of a child learning to walk. When they take their first wobbly steps, we don’t scold them if they fall over. Instead, we cheer them on, encourage them to get up, and applaud their efforts. We understand that stumbling is part of the process, and we know that with each fall, they’re getting closer to their goal.

As adults then, why is it that we often treat ourselves differently? When we encounter setbacks or stumble in our own learning journeys, we can be incredibly hard on ourselves. We might berate ourselves for not getting it right the first time or feel disheartened when we hit a roadblock. But what if we approached our own learning with the same compassion and patience that we show to a child learning to walk?

We know this; every time we face a challenge, make a mistake, or stumble in our efforts, we’re simply taking a step toward our goal. Just like that child who falls but keeps getting back up, we too are making progress. Every setback is a chance to learn, to adjust our approach, and to become stronger and more resilient.

There’s a reason we don’t punish a child who falls while learning to walk – because we know that falling is an integral part of the learning process. Similarly, the setbacks we encounter as adults are essential components of our own learning journeys.

So, let’s be kinder to ourselves. Let’s acknowledge that stumbling and falling are natural and necessary steps toward growth. Let’s remind ourselves that every time we “fall,” we’re actually inching closer to our goals.

Just like that child who eventually transitions from wobbly steps to confident running, we too can master our challenges and achieve our aspirations. The key is to embrace the process, offer ourselves the same encouragement we’d offer a child, and keep pushing forward.

As you navigate your own learning journey, remember that setbacks don’t define you – your resilience and determination do. Keep taking those steps, keep learning, and keep growing. You’re on the path to something incredible.

“You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over”

-Richard Branson-

So, learning is a discovery …

If you, or someone you know, would like to explore this with me, why not book a Complimentary Discovery Call with me? I can confidently guarantee that you will leave this call with more clarity and insight.

I’ll be in touch again soon with more thoughts and tips!

With best wishes for your success,

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

P.S.  The next available Communication Code Group Coaching Programme starts on the 19th October! Check it out.