Last week’s Thought was; “The Path to True Connection” and the difference between empathy and sympathy. You can see this and all of my previous blogs HERE.

One of the most important aspects of coaching is having Empathy with the person who is being coached. When we coach people, how are we being empathic?

If we are sympathetic with them, this can be very disempowering and we would rather build them up, right?

How do we feel when someone sympathises with us, rather than showing empathy?

I’d like to share an example with you of empathy in action (and this can be in any kind of conversation, not just when coaching):

Let’s say that someone has lost their confidence and struggling to overcome a problem. They say they are feeling stuck.

If we just say something like “You poor thing, it must be terrible to feel like that”

On a scale of 1 – 10, how empowering is that?

Whereas, if we summarised what they just told us to check we have got it right and then asked a question more like this; “In the past, when you struggled with something, how did you overcome it?”

On a scale of 1 – 10, how empowering is that?

I would say that the second one is closer to a 10.

Why? Because it’s non-judgemental and says that we believe in them and they can overcome this.

The chances are that they have overcome something in the past. By us  reminding them and taking them there, they can tap into that positive energy to ignite resolve, resilience and negotiate their way through this struggle.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts and experiences with this.

“There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.”

-Malcolm X-

[African American religious leader and civil rights activist]

 

I will leave you with that thought and will be in touch again soon with more thoughts and tips.

With best wishes for your success,

PS: I invite you to book a free call with me if you haven’t already  – choose a time that best works for you HERE

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

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Last week’s Thought for the Week was; “The Affinity Connection” which was about building affinity through our communication. You can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

What builds an affinity between you and them? For me, empathy is key.

Have you found that people often find it difficult to say what the difference is between Empathy and Sympathy?

“Empathy fuels connection. Sympathy drives disconnection.”

-Dr Brene Brown-

[Motivational speaker, research professor, author, and podcast host]

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings, perspectives, and experiences of others. It involves putting oneself in someone else’s shoes, genuinely connecting with their emotions, and demonstrating compassion and understanding.

That’s not to say that is someone fell into a dangerous pit we would throw ourselves in with them to empathise! We don’t have to do that to show empathy.

Empathy goes beyond sympathy (which is simply feeling sorry for someone). With empathy, we strive to grasp the emotions and thoughts that someone is experiencing, creating a deeper connection and fostering a sense of shared humanity. And helping people to find the best solution that would work best for them.

Empathy is a crucial aspect of human connection, fostering better relationships, understanding, and cooperation. By practicing empathy, we can promote kindness, tolerance, and a greater sense of community and belonging.

“Empathy and social skills are social intelligence, the interpersonal part of emotional intelligence. That’s why they look alike”.

-Daniel Goleman-

[Author of the best-selling Emotional Intelligence, as well as many other works in emotional and social intelligence, leadership, and education].

 

I will leave you with that thought and will be in touch again soon with more thoughts and tips.

With best wishes for your success,

PS: I invite you to book a free call with me if you haven’t already  – choose a time that best works for you HERE

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

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Last week’s Thought for the Week was; “Unmasking the Communication Illusion” which was all about our own personal awareness of how effectively we communicate. You can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

I mentioned last week about a presentation I went to. The presenter was very knowledgeable and yet she raced through the session so quickly and what would have been a brilliant session was lost on most of us.

Unless someone told her, she is probably unaware that her session could have been so much more impactful. (I don’t know this lady and we were not asked for feedback, so it didn’t seem appropriate for me to offer any at that time).

Here’s the thing …

We may believe we are really good communicators but how do we actually know whether we are?

Well, I believe it’s all in the connections that we make with people …

If we are communicating well with someone, we tend to feel an affinity with that person, we feel heard, seen and understood by them.

The written word can be more tricky though can’t it! That’s because we aren’t in front of that person, we don’t have any body language to give us context. There will be a tone to the written word, however that’s open to interpretation!

So, how can we tell whether we are communicating well when we write?

Firstly, of course we will have an indicator in the way the other person responds to us (if you require a response that is). There are also tools out there to help us measure success, depending on the context and mode of communication.

Personally, for longer conversations, I prefer to have a face-to-face conversation whenever possible. If that’s not practical, then a video conversation.

Then I use the written word to share information, as I am writing to you now. Of course, the written word is also useful to share facts and figures and keep a trail / record.

I would love to hear how useful my “Thoughts for the Week” are for you? I welcome feedback and how these could be improved in any way. My aim is to give you value, so it’s very important to me to do just that!

Thank you!

I also invite you to book a free call with me if you would like to explore anything that’s holding you back right now. Choose a time that best works for you HERE

 

“It’s affinity and communication, and an empathy for the human condition, that binds us all, and keeps a soul in wonder”

–Tej Kapoor-

[Managing Director and Head of Fosun RZ Capital India, a Beijing-based venture capital fund.]

 

I will leave you with that thought and will be in touch again soon with more thoughts and tips.

With best wishes for your success,

Korinne Le Page

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

Thrive Web Site

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Last week’s Thought for the Week was; “From Virtual Barriers to Real Connections” which was all about overcoming virtual barriers to achieve effective communication skills and using technology to enhance virtual communication.

You can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

What happens when Communication goes ‘south’?

The majority of our waking hours (roughly 70%), are dedicated to interacting with others, so when it goes wrong, it can result in conflicts and feelings of frustration.

And let’s face it, many of us have never been taught effective communication techniques that produce the desired outcomes! Communication in general is not covered in most school curriculums, so we have to learn this as we go along.

I have been researching this with clients, people on my workshops and group coaching programme and asked these questions …

What exactly constitutes effective communication?

The successful exchange of information, ideas, thoughts, and feelings between individuals or groups. It involves transmitting a message in a way that ensures the intended meaning is accurately conveyed and understood by the recipient(s).

What are the key elements of effective communication?

Most of them said …

• Clarity: Clear and concise messages successfully sharing information, ideas, and feelings with others.
• Active Listening: As we looked at with “Listening to see and hear”.
• Non-verbal communication: Body language and tone of voice.
• Feedback: How we give and receive feedback.
• Empathy: Stepping into someone’s shoes (different to sympathy).
• Adaptability to different people’s needs – asking them what they need!
• Conflict resolution: effective communication helps resolve conflict in a positive way (and can avoid it in the first place).

It’s all about connecting, understanding and achieving desired outcomes through friendly and meaningful interactions and I’m going to be writing more thoughts around each of the above over the coming weeks.

Effective communication is not solely about transmitting information; it is about establishing meaningful connections, fostering understanding, and achieving desired outcomes through clear and empathetic interaction.

What is effective communication NOT about?

Effective communication is NOT just getting your point across to others quickly. It takes time to think, create a message, listen, understand and then take action.

It is extremely hard to do and takes lots of conscious thought and effort to frame, position and maintain.

I went to a presentation recently and the lady presenting was extremely knowledgeable. And yet she spoke so quickly and in a monotone voice that she lost most of us along the way. Some of us left wishing we had been able to take away more from the session.

I invite you to book a free call with me to see how you could master communication. Choose a time that best works for you HERE

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

–George Bernard Shaw-

[Famous for his role in revolutionising comedic drama, a literary critic and a prominent British socialist.]

I will leave you with that thought and will be in touch again soon with more thoughts and tips.

With best wishes for your success,

Korinne Le Page

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

Thrive Web Site

LinkedIn 

Last week’s Thought for the Week was; “The Power of Showing Up” about how we choose to be when we are around other people.

You can see this and all of my previous blogs HERE.

How we show up is all about communication isn’t it and how we connect with each other and it’s so much more than how we talk.

When I run Communication workshops, people often arrive thinking that it’s all about how they speak and they expect to learn tips and tricks around that. And then they realise that there is so much more to it than that.

And it is interesting how people believe they are good communicators because they talk a lot! But are they? What do you think?

Personally, I have found that the best communicators are actually speaking less than others, and yet they are taking it all in. And because they are not speaking, they are so much more attentive of what’s going on.

So, when they do speak, they have something valuable to say, or they may aske a really pertinent question to help clarify something that’s being discussed. 

“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.”

-Bernard Baruch-

[Financier and presidential adviser]

It is possible do you think to be speaking and observing everything at the same time?

Is it possible to fully listen to someone while preparing your response to them?

Ideally, we need pauses in between speaking and responding to have the best communication. Why do you think that is? Can you think of someone who does that? Is it easier to communicate with them?

Nowadays, the relentless pace of life creates a pressure to keep the conversation flowing, but at what cost? Unfortunately, in our rush to keep up, the quality of our interactions is often sacrificed.

How much are we using all of our senses while we are speaking? By being mindful of all our senses, we can enhance our communication skills and improve our ability to understand and connect with others.

“If you make listening and observation your occupation, you will gain much more than you can by talk.”

– Robert Baden-Powell-

[Boy Scouts Association]

So, we have to be able to see and observe while we are in a conversation, as much as we speak and it takes a lot of concentration to be an active listener!

I can help you or someone else with this by providing a safe and supportive environment to learn and grow. I will listen, guide and encourage to develop the skills and confidence to become a more effective listener and communicator.

I invite you to try this for free! Choose a time that best works for you HERE

“Of all the skills of leadership, listening is the most valuable — and one of the least understood. Most captains of industry listen only sometimes, and they remain ordinary leaders. But a few, the great ones, never stop listening. That’s how they get word before anyone else of unseen problems and opportunities.”

-Peter Nulty-

[Fortune Magazine]

I will leave you with that thought and will be in touch again soon with more thoughts and tips.

With best wishes for your success,

Korinne Le Page

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Last week’s Thought for the Week was; “A Life Less Ordinary” about the incredible Darren Robson who left such a powerful legacy. He most definitely lived a life less ordinary and empowered so many others to do that too, myself included.

You can see this and all of my previous blogs HERE.

Darren was a down to earth guy and people felt relaxed in his company, while at the same time, he wanted to get to know them and always saw the best in everyone he met.

As you know, I’m a coach and also run  a number of programmes around Communication. My last couple of posts have been around ‘proximity’ and how we become the people we spend most of our time with.  So, what has this got to do with Communication?

Well, I believe that it’s all about how we ‘show up’ when we are with other people and yes, that may be different depending on who we are with! And how they show up with us to some degree.

Life can be so challenging sometimes when you just want to pull up the covers in the morning, burrow deeper into your mattress, and hide away from it all. This is precisely why showing up is such a big deal.

And here’s the thing …

Do we decide how we will be with others depending first on how they are with us? If we do that, who is in control? And it’s not that we want to have control over others, ideally we want to remain equal to them. And that is communication in itself.

So, of course we want to spend most of our time around those we are most comfortable with, can be ourselves and feel good.

At the same time, when we are around those who we feel less comfortable with, do we have to change the way we are? Of course not. If we do, then we’re just perpetuating this circle of potential conflict.

 

“The energy we show up with is more often than not the energy we encounter”. –Rasheed Ogunlaru-

[Author of the book Soul Trader – Putting the Heart Back into Your Business]

 

If we ‘show up’ the same way with everyone, every time, what have we got to lose?

According to Jeffrey Fry (Author of ‘Distilled Thoughts’), the formula for success is 2% talent, 8% luck, and 90% of showing up every day.

How do you show up every day with everyone?

 

Instead of showing up to let everyone know how great we are, show up to find out how great everyone else is.

-Simon Sinek-

[Author and Inspirational Speaker]

 

I will leave you with that thought and will be in touch again soon with more thoughts and tips.

*|FNAME|*, if you would like to explore this further with me, I would love to hear from you. You can choose a time that best works for you HERE 

With best wishes for your success,

Korinne Le Page

LinkedIn 

Last week’s Thought for the Week was; “Why Your Circle Shapes Your Success”

This was about the Power of Proximity and how those we spend the most time with have a huge influence on us and our moods, our outlook and the expectations we have of ourselves and others.

You can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

And here is an example of the Power of Proximity in action …

I just heard some very sad news and still reeling from it. A friend who was also such an inspiration to me, and so many others, has passed away suddenly. Darren Robson was in incredible visionary Entrepreneur and Founder of the Moe Foundation and on the Global Board of the Association for Coaching.

Moe stands for: Me, Others and Everyone and that sums up what the Foundation is all about. People choose how much they want to pay and when people cannot pay, they are gifted a place.

Through his Foundation, so far, Darren has gifted £3 million pounds worth of Coaching Training and support to people from all walks of life. It all started with “The Dream Factory” for young people to help them realise their dreams. The Moe Programmes evolved and are literally life-changing – and you probably wouldn’t believe that unless you had been through one of them.

Darren was very open about his humble beginnings and losing his mother while he was still young and he and his brother started the Moe Foundation as a tribute to her. Their vision was to help less-fortunate younger people and then it evolved to helping everyone.

I first met Darren when I went through one of his Coaching Programmes and that was such a profound experience for me that it changed the way I work with people, whether it be Coaching, Training, with colleagues and in all I do.

Darren wasn’t a Trainer himself; he has an incredible team of people out there making his vision happen. I was one of the people who co-ran 15 courses in Guernsey and became a lead trainer on the Moe Certified Coaching Programme. The programme is profound. It was gifted to Darren by Carol Wilson and based on self-directed learning and awareness, which is where all the magic happens with Coaching.

So, I believe that if it wasn’t for Darren, I wouldn’t be doing what I do right now in the way I am doing it. I have written before about how one person / leader can have such a profound and positive effect on someone, possibly without realising how much.

Since I heard the terrible news, I have been pondering on all of this. And when we lose someone, we think about the last time we spoke to them and the conversation we had don’t we!

I hadn’t spoken to Darren for a while and I really wish I had. We can get so busy and absorbed in our lives that when we lose someone, we regret that gap of time since we showed them how much we appreciate them.

As all the tributes to Darren pour in, I wonder how many of us actually told him what an amazing human he was while he was here.

So, I take this opportunity to share this with you, so you can take this chance to appreciate those who have made the biggest impact on your life by letting them know how much they mean to you.

“Crazy is not following your dream and living a life less ordinary!

-Darren Robson-

[Founder of the Moe Foundation, DRArete.

Title in his own words: “Chief Storyteller / Firestarter”]

And Darren leaves us with the most incredible legacy that will continue for many years to come.

I will leave you with that thought and will be in touch again soon with more thoughts and tips.

With best wishes for your success,

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Last week’s Thought for the Week was; “Who Will you Ride with in the Limo?” This was about spending most of our time, whenever we can, with those who accept us for who we are, inspire us, help us grow and we can be ourselves with.

You can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

• Whether you are an Entrepreneur who is at the seed stage or your business is growing into something amazing and taking off;

• Whether you are an Executive, Manager, Team Leader or Team Member working for a larger organisation;

• Whether you are an independent Consultant or other Professional …

In all cases, to succeed, you will have to grow your network, accept challenges, take risks, be ready to learn from your mistakes and keep the ball rolling.

And asking for help is vital to growing your business and career.

Yet, many professional people are hesitant to seek the help they need. Asking for assistance doesn’t make us less capable – we want to be able to go to colleagues and / or seniors for support. 

Some will say that coaches and mentors are the only way forward, they are impartial and extremely convenient. And … if you have the right Coach or Mentor, they will ride on the bus with you if the limo breaks down! (You will recognise that from last week).

Working with the right Coach or Mentor can only add to you achieving the success you are striving for. What’s the difference between Coaching and Mentoring? Read HERE

[Yes, I am a Coach … at the same time this post is not about selling Coaching]

In any case, in the same vein as last week’s thought, you want to surround yourself with talented people!

One of the most profound things I have learned as an entrepreneur and through working with business professionals is this;

“Hire people to work with you who show the most talent and drive and who may even be smarter than you!”

There’s humility and wisdom in that and, let’s face it; no matter how good you are at building and running a company, you can’t do it all by yourself.

Have you ever heard someone say; “You are who you hang out with?” If you have kids, you probably worry about them falling in with the wrong crowd (and your parents worried about the same for you!).

That’s because those we spend the most time with have a huge influence on us and our moods, how we view the World and the expectations we have of ourselves and others.

This is known as “The Power of Proximity”

So, why don’t we use this it to our own advantage?

When we surround ourselves with positivity, we’re more likely to adopt empowering beliefs and see life as happening for us, rather than to us. 

Just as we benefit when we surround ourselves with people who make us unhappy, sadly we suffer when those in our business or social circles are negative or narrow-minded.

So, we need to frequently remind ourselves that who we spend the most time with is who we eventually become. And, to reach new heights of success, we must surround ourselves with people who not only inspire us, but also challenge us in a positive way. It isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it.

I mentioned a few weeks back that, when I was in a leadership role in the British Airways Training Department, I found an operational manager difficult to be around. Only by arranging to have a coffee and chat did we find common ground and that resulted in an extremely positive and empowering partnership for both of us.

Of course, it doesn’t always work out like that. If not, then we have to navigate our way to be around those positive and inspiring people as much as possible. And this could be online as much as in person.

If you want to know more about this, here’s a good read: “The Proximity Principle” by Ken Coleman.

“If you want to turn your goals into reality faster, then get yourself in proximity with people who are playing the game at a higher level than you do.”

-Tony Robbins-

If you would like to try coaching with me, I invite you to book a free consultation with me to see if we are a good fit. You can choose a time that best works for you HERE 

So, I hope you have a great week and I will be in touch again soon with more thoughts and tips.

Download this FREE Checklist; “The Ultimate Checklist for Mastering Communication” – you can download it HERE

With best wishes for your success,

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Last week’s Thought for the Week was; “A Chrysalis for Transformation” about how loneliness can be a time to transform and grow and also knowing when we need to be around other people.

You can see this and all of my previous blogs below.

So, this week, I’d like to pick up on the bit; “being around other people” and, ideally, this will be the right people in any given moment when we need connection.

And yes, we don’t always have a choice to be around the people we would choose to be with do we and we have to make the best of that!

What we can do though is to spend most of our time, whenever we can, with those who inspire us and who we can be ourselves with. You will already be choosing to talk to certain people and or groups in different situations.

“Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher”

-Oprah Winfrey-

You will know about The Pareto Principle. If not, here’s a brief explanation …

“The Pareto principle, also known as the 80/20 rule, is a theory maintaining that 80 percent of the output from a given situation or system is determined by 20 percent of the input. The principle doesn’t stipulate that all situations will demonstrate that precise ratio – it refers to a typical distribution”.

In the case of surrounding ourselves with the right people, there will be around 20% who inspire approximately 80% of our output and around 80% who contribute to approximately 20% of our output.

Just like spending 20% of our time and energy on those activities that generate 80% of our income and / or output.

All-too-often when we are less-productive, we are probably spending 80% of our time and energy on the activities that generate only 20% of our income and / or output.

When it comes to choosing the people I want to spend most of my time with, this quote hits the nail on the head …

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down”.

-Oprah Winfrey-

If you’d like to book a free consultation with me to talk about anything that’s holding you back, you can choose a time that best works for you HERE 

So, I hope you have a great week and I will be in touch again soon with more thoughts and tips.

With best wishes,

Thrive Coaching & Training – Empowering you to Thrive!

P.S. Download this FREE Checklist; “The Ultimate Checklist for Mastering Communication” – you can download it HERE

Thrive Web Site

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